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Woo! This is for all my super - awesome [not taking advantage *cof* BECKY*cof*] friends who are the greatest EVER!! Thanks for being there... we all need each other at some point. And Bex... yes me n robyn are happy for you and Tom and you do deserve each other ... so DON'T panic... we're all friends now (:  Btw Robyn... you are a retarded cheesemuffin genius! tis truly the truth... and where would I be without you in French... in the most boring outfit, hugging myself. Chloe, this story isn't to have a go and bite at you... it's to prove a point of you can't trust strangers. You'll understand when you read, but just to let you know, stuff like this does happen in real life and this is because I care about you. I hope nothing like this does happen but please be careful... no one tells the truth all the time...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOVE YOU ALL GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 54   [last journal!]

I didn’t know what else to do. Mum hides her tablets anyway so I knew I would never find them. How else to do it?

“Rialle I’m going out for half an hour.” :Mum from up the stairs.

“Right mum!” :me half-heartedly. I paced up and down in my room. Was I over-reacting? I didn’t even know for sure who the girl was. Why throw my life away because of something I could have taken the complete wrong way. I decided to go to his house.

I knocked on the door, which opened due to someone not shutting it properly. I stepped in. It sounded like no one was home, everything was too quiet. Nothing was a mess and it didn’t look like they were being burgled.

“Hello…?” :me stepping into the hall. I took my shoes off in case Josh was in the back and he just hadn’t heard me. I heard giggling from upstairs, then a ‘who’s that’.

I looked upstairs half daring myself to go up. I stepped onto the first step. Growing a few inches taller. I held onto the banister for balance and ventured onto the next step. About 2 minutes later I had climbed all of the stairs, now the hall faced me. I walked across, pushing Josh’s door open.

“Ahh!! Mum what are you do-” :Josh from his top bunk bed.

“What the fuck?!” :me looking up.

There he was with the girl most obviously

In bed, both with nothing on

The girl sat up

I looked at her, seeing her face properly for the first time

Hayley…

I looked them up and down

Unable to see, but understood clearly what was going on

Thankfully the sheets covered an unpleasant view

I stood there, rooted to the spot

The curtains had been closed, only allowing a slither of light through a small gap at the top

The wood flooring was as dull as ever

Raindrops start patting on the window

A reflection of my face

Tears began to pour down my face uncontrollably

Hayley sat there, placing her arm around him

She had a smug face on her smile

Messaging ‘I won’

He sat straight up, almost glued to the spot

He didn’t know who to concentrate more on, Hayley or his girlfriend

Instead his eyes shifted from side to side around 10 seconds

My eyes rolled back

My face fell pale

My lips turned a blue colour

My temperature dropped suddenly

I ran out of the door

Josh jumped out bed, landing with a bang

“Rialle… wait… please!” :Josh chasing me outside

“No! Why should I?” :me turning around for a split second, then carrying on down the street

“Please… just let me explain!” :Josh

“Explain what… there’s nothing to explain” :me wiping away my tears, these were the last I would cry.

“Please… just let me try and explain” :Josh refusing to give up

“What was it Josh… was it because I wouldn’t sleep with, so you had to cheat on me to get some? I should have known better, you are just like Andrew” :me turning around

“How can you compare me to him, you don’t even like Andrew” :Josh stopping

“Yea… and you want to know why?” :me losing my temper, but remaining to hold a casual tone : “Because … he… shagged someone… in… a fucking… BUSH!”

“Well… I would never do it a bush, ok that was too far” :Josh casually as though this was normal to him.

“Josh… do you hear yourself sometimes or is it just a big roaring in your ears?” :me sarcastically.

“Excuse me…” :Josh sounding rather dazed at what I had just said.

“Look… just because I’m not a slag, and I refuse to sleep with you now, doesn’t mean I’ll never sleep with you, but doing that was way out of line. And Hayley… Hayley of all the people you could have chosen, it had to be her!! And I have my own ring-tone on your phone, you knew it was me, so why the hell did you let her pick it up?!” :me almost sympathetically.

“I didn’t know-” :Josh starting to come u with one of his shitty excuses.

“Don’t you dare say you didn’t know. You were right next to her when she was talking to me! Look Josh, I’ve had enough-” :me being cut off

“You’ve had enough!! I’ve had it up to here with you!” :Josh pointing to his head to exaggerate his point

“With what!? What makes me so bad. I’ve been through so much shit lately, how do you expect m to be 100%… sane!” :me wanting to say so much at once, the words I was saying were coming out clearly

“At least 10% would have ok. And you’re always controlling what I do. You say you don’t like Andrew, how am I supposed to take you anywhere with my friends. I go everywhere with your friends, even though me and Ryan can’t stand each other” :Josh

“I never said I wouldn’t go anywhere with your friends, and as for Andrew- I’ve never made it where the atmosphere is uncomfortable and I get along with Eddy, and I do try with Andrew” :me

“Well we all know why you and Eddy got on so well…” :Josh with a sarcastic face.

“How dare you bring that up!” :me

“Answer me this… Did you ever sleep with him?” :Josh looking right at me.

“NO!! I have said that a thousand times over, why do you even have to ask?” :me almost in tears

“Well, how can I even believe or trust you Rialle… Hayley was the one to tell me and I still can’t understand why she would lie about that” :Josh

“Because… she… hates… me!! Don’t you see that? All this shit has been caused by her and she’s got in between us again. You’ve let her win, and this time… this time I don’t care” :me turning around. I couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Rialle… please… you know I love you and I need you” :Josh pulling lightly on my arm.

“Whatever Josh- I’ve heard it all before. Now go drown your head” :me shoving his hand from my arm, turning around and leaving for home.

Mum wasn’t home yet. I went to the fridge to pour some pomegranate and cranberry fruit juice. As I slurped the drink I knew it was time…

---

[Becky’s p.o.v]

Me and Tom had not long come back from the apartment. We sat in my front room, watching Lazy Town. I love it but Tom can’t stand it. I knew nearly all the songs off by heart, as like Robyn. We were snuggled on the couch with the occasional passionate kiss.

‘Bing Bang Digga Digga Dong’

“Becky - I say this because I care about you, PLEASE TURN THIS OFF!” :Tom laughing but being serious.

“Um, make me” :me sticking my tongue out comically.

“Right then. Now you’ve asked for it!” :Tom tickling me.

“Tom!… Stop it!” :me giggling uncontrollably

“Well you did say make me. Didn’t you?” :Tom refusing to stop.

“Yes…” :me still laughing. I rolled off the couch hitting the floor with a bang.

“Oops!” :me looking up at Tom. We both smiled and paused for a moment until he broke the silence. He slid off the couch, kneeling on the floor. I sat up slightly on my elbows behind me. He leaned closer, moving slowly, embracing the moment. We closed our eyes, our lips touching. I lifted one arm, wrapping it around his neck. My arms were too short, disallowing me to reach his face properly. So I held onto his neck. After 30 seconds of the kiss, my elbow gave way, collapsing underneath me. I fell backwards pulling on Tom’s neck. He fell on top of me.

“Ahh!” :Tom as he fell.

“Oops!” :Me smiling innocently.

“Becky…” :Tom

He lied on top of me leaning upwards on his hands one on either side of my head. [on the floor]

“Mhmm” :me intrigued.

“I love you” :Tom

“I love you too” :me sitting up. We kissed again;

If this wasn’t happiness, what was?

If he didn’t love me, who did?

If he wasn’t the one, who was?

If this wasn’t true love, what was?

---

[Back at the hospital] [Robyn’s p.o.v]

After we took Rialle home we returned to the hospital, because Ryan had forgot his wallet.

He’ll be ok… won’t he?” :Ryan with a teary eye, as we walked into the hospital.

“I promise he will” :me kissing him. I was still unsure if he was going to pull through or not.

I turned my head as we entered the ward’s waiting room. Brendon sat there with his face in his hands balancing on his legs.

“Brendon!” :Ryan running up to him.

“Ryan! Where have you been?” :Brendon standing up.

“We’ve been worried about you! Where were you? We sent Josh, he was supposed to be looking for you but-” :Ryan speaking fast, partly due to relief.

“Ryan! I’m fine, thank you” :Brendon shutting him up.

“Good!” :Ryan taking a deep breath then smiling.

“Have they said anything about Jon?” :Brendon awkwardly.

“Um… no. They’re keeping him in over night to do some tests?” :Ryan

“Oh. Hey Robyn, I didn’t see you there” :Brendon looking over. I was sat on a bench in a far corner giving them privacy.

“Hey” :Me unsure if I should go over just yet.

“Robyn, what are doing over there?” :Ryan confused.

“Um…” :me just walking over. I stood next to Ryan. He placed his arm over my shoulders and kissed my forehead.

“What are you two doing now?” :Brendon interrupting the moment.

“We’ll probably go to my place” :Ryan lifting his head up to Brendon.

“Do you want a lift?” :Ryan

“Honestly!” :Brendon sounding rather surprised.

“Yea… you are my best friend” :Ryan hitting him on the arm.

“Great-” :me to the side quietly to myself.

“What was that?” :Ryan looking at me. His face at least certified he hadn’t actually heard.

“Um, nothing. Are we going then?” :me trying to move on the conversation.

We walked out. Ryan had to run back in again to find his wallet, luckily it had been handed in.

We arrived at Ryan’s house.

[in the front room]

Brendon took a run and jump, landing on the couch. He search for the remote, then turned on the T.V. I went into Ryan’s room, lying down on his bed. I pulled one of his pillows and hugged it tightly, smelling the smell of Ryan. It felt like I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t understand why. I heard from inside the front room;

‘Where’s Robyn?’ :Ryan

‘Huh…? I don’t know, try your room’ :Brendon

Ryan came into his room, looking at me fairly odd lying on the bed.

“What’s up?” :Ryan sitting down

“I don’t know. I don’t feel too well. I’m just tired I think” :me looking at him. I pulled the pillow tighter towards me.

“Is this because Brendon is here?” :Ryan seeing right through me.

“No… why do you say that?” :me trying to deny it.

“Because… you haven’t said a word to either of us, well not like you would usually.” :Ryan moving a [really annoying] piece of hair from my face.

“… it’s not that I don’t like him. It’s just, I wanted it to just be us two. We are going out” :me trying not to be pushy or saying I hated Brendon.

“I know, I want it to just be us two… Hang on, I have an idea, get your coat” :Ryan walking off into the front room. He grabbed his keys and we met at the front door.

We walked to the car.

“Where are we going?” :me excited but still confused.

“Well, we want it to be just the two of us yea?” :Ryan

“Yea, but-” :me

“Well, you’ll see” :Ryan smiling.

[after the drive]

We stopped in a car park near the beach. I could hear the sea and smell the salty air all around us. We walked up the front door. I waited patiently while Ryan found his key.

We walked in. I looked around the house, it was the most beautiful house I had ever seen. There were huge windows all around the room, filling it with light from every direction possible. There was a breath-taking sea view which could be seen through nearly every window. There was a balcony on the other side of the window. In the front room there were big red puffy couches with a rose pattern for design. In the middle of the floor there lay a rug with a beach wood table.

“Do you like it?” :Ryan looking at my face.

“Like it?! I love it… it’s gorgeous! I’ve never seen anything like this before” :me running my hands along the silk smooth sofas.

“You can stay the night, I mean… that’s if you want to” :Ryan smiling. He knew full well the answer was going to be anything but negative.

“Stupid question!” :me turning around and kissing him. It was about half past 9 at night and was just going dark.

“I’ll grab some food from the kitchen, wait here if you like or go check it out” :Ryan walking into the kitchen.

“Ok” :me sitting down on the couch, which were so comfortable. I couldn’t help but stare at the view. I couldn’t see too far out to sea due to the sun setting. Ryan came in from the kitchin 10 minutes later with a picnic basket.

“Are you ready?” :Ryan

“What? Where are we going now?” :Robyn

“Down to the beach, it’s like 10 seconds away if that” :Ryan walking over the doors of the balcony.

He opened the door, stepping outside holding the door open for me.

We sat down on the beach, first laying down a blanket. He set out a few snacks on some plates over the blanket. I leaned back on my elbows admiring the sea, breathing in fresh air.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” :Ryan watching the sunset.

“Yea… I’ve never watched a sunset before, I suppose I haven’t got time anymore” :me almost regretting how many sunsets I would have missed.

“Well, at least you’re here now, watching one” :Ryan

“And this would probably be the most perfect one of all, even if it is my first” :me giggling.

“Oh well. There’s always another one to watch” :Ryan.

I sat up, moving closer to Ryan. I lied down, with my head on his legs looking up.

“Robyn” :Ryan

“Yea” :me smiling. Ryan moved his hand so he was stroking my hair.

“Do you think we’ll be together for a while?” :Ryan

“I think we’ll be together forever…” :me in reply.

---

[Chloe’s p.o.v]

Argh! How could he do this to me? I sat in an old shed, fairly close to home crying my eyes out because of ‘him’. My phone vibrated from inside my pocket. I pulled it out ‘Ryan’s home’.

I flipped it open, answering it.

“Hello?” :me confused.

“Chloe, thank god!” :Brendon

“Brendon!! What do you want?” :Me sniffling

“Chloe, please! I am so sorry” :Brendon

“Well sorry isn’t going to solve everything Brendon. Do you know how much you’ve hurt me?!” :me bursting into tears. Hearing his voice was like a stab in the heart.

“Chloe, please! I don’t know what else to do!” :Brendon

“Leave me alone!!” :me hanging up on him.

I slammed my phone shut. I let out a heavy sigh. A noise came from outside, like a twig snapping underneath someone’s foot.

I closed my mouth shut, only allowing air to escape my nose. My heart missed a few beats, to almost reflect the silence. I looked around the room. Only the moon lit the room, vaguely through a broken window, casting cobwebs on the floor. There was a table near to me, with a tablecloth dancing over. I crawled underneath, sliding on my hands and knees. I turned around under the table. Everything now fell too silent, sending shivers running down my spine.

Two minutes later the door swung open. I peered under the cloth dangling over the table. I could see a young lad standing in the door way, looking around the room. He took out a lighter, turning it on. The room now danced in time with the flicker of the flame.

“…Hello?” :Lad finally speaking. His tone hinted fear, with more curiosity.

I pulled my head up, staring at the table cloth, almost trying to look through it. Now I could only listen.

I heard shuffling of feet, creeping closer towards me. I looked at the floor, expecting to see something.

I saw a shadow of his legs, standing right in front of me. A hand shadow appeared, moving with the flame on the other side. The cloth was grasped, being pulled off completely. Everything on top of the table; paint tine, brushes, tools all came crashing down.

“Ahh!” :me curling my legs to my chest. I hugged my legs so tightly, due to the amount of fear flowing through my body.

“Whoa!! Didn’t see you there.” :Lad laughing to himself.

“Err… hi?” :me unsure of what to do. The vibes I was getting were nice and welcoming. He offered me his hand. I looked at it, then at his face.

“C’mon. You don’t want to be stuck under there forever do you?” :lad laughing again. He looked directly at me, with a smile in his eye.

I stretched my arm out, placing my hand in his. I slid along the floor, then was pulled up. I brushed myself off and lifted my head.

“Um… what are you doing in here?” :lad confused.

“Argh… I had an argument with my friend, Brendon” :Me looking rather annoyed.

“Oh… anything I could help with?” :Lad actually sounding interested.

“Well if you know what makes Brendon Urie tick then sure, you could help but-” :me waffling on.

“Brendon… Urie? You know Brendon Urie?!” :lad excited

“Err… yea we were dating but I don’t know anymore” :me

“Oh my god! *cough* …cool” :lad trying to act normal.

“So what’s your name?” :me

“Darren, and you are?” :Darren

“Chloe. I’m sorry for just coming in here-” :me bring cut off.

“It’s o.k. It’s only my dad’s shed and he never comes here anymore” :Darren

“Why not? This place is lovely” :me

“He died, a month ago” :Darren

“Oh… I’m sorry” :me kissing him lightly on the cheek. He smiled and looked at me, rather shocked.

“Dya want to come back to the house. My band are practising at the moment” :Darren turning around slightly, ready to go.

“Um, yea sure” :me smiling at him. He moved his thumb, making the room dark again and placed the lighter back into his pocket.

I followed him out of the shed, down the street to his house. We stepped into the hall, taking our shoes off.

He had black hair, with a small fringe on the side nearly covering an eye. He had a cute face with slight freckles around his upper cheek. He had on a t-shirt with a random guitar on. He had baggy jeans on, which looked like they were going to fall off any minute soon.

“C’mon… we’re in the back room” :Darren leading me into the kitchen, then the backroom.

“Who’s that?” :drummer to the bassist.

“No idea…” :bassist looking me up and down. I smiled back uncomfortably.

“Hey guys! This is Chloe. She’s our guest for tonight” :Darren putting his arm around me. I smiled at them all, there were 4 members, including Darren.

“Go sit over there while we practise k?” :Darren pointing over to a random chair in the room. I walked over and sat down, facing them.

A few minutes later the room had become roasting with all the equipment being used.

“Excuse me… I just have to go outside for a moment” :me standing up. I headed for the door, walking through then reaching the hall. Darren came up behind me silently. He put his hand on my shoulder making my jump.

“Oh… I didn’t hear you come in” :me startled. I turned around, facing him. A shiver ran through my body, my body falling numb.

His grip tightened, pain shooting through my collar bone, up my neck. I looked at his hand, dying to move it. The grip came too intense, I lifted my hand gripping his.

“Ow you’re hurting me!” :me scared. I looked up at Darren, his eyes were looking in me. His eyes piercing my soul. He threw me against the wall, pinning me up. He closed his eyes, kissing my neck. I gagged feeling like I was going to throw up.

“DARREN!” :me screaming. What the hell?

I flew my leg upwards, kicking him in his ‘area’. His grip loosened, then I broke free. I ran out of the door looking at where the hell I was. I pulled out my phone, Brendon was speed dial #1.

“Brendon! Omg you have to help me. I am so sorry about before but please.” :me screaming almost.

“Chloe! Where are you?” :Brendon really concerned

“Um… outside a house, on a random street.” :me looking around. I started walking to the end of the street, there was a sign.

“It’s Walkers Drive” :me trying to get hold of myself.

“Right… I’m on my way. Don’t move.” :Brendon.

“I’m on the corner near the sign” :me sniffling. Just as I was about to turn around, I felt an unusual breeze, on my neck.

I looked in the corner of my eyes, I could see Darren, standing right behind me.

“Chloe… what are you doing? don’t you like my band?” :Darren smoothly.

“Um… it’s not that, I just need to go home, it is getting rather later don’t you think?” :me almost playing along.

“Oh … yea I suppose” :Darren seeming all too calm about it.

“so…” :me breaking the silence which was falling upon us.

“But your parents don’t mind that much, they haven’t phoned you or anything yet have they?” :Darren smiling. I turned around facing him, moving backwards. He looked like he was possessed. The lamppost light shined down on his face, casting shadows down his body.

“No… but I need to go home” :me forcefully.

“No you don’t” :Darren. I looked at him and made a run for it.

“Oh no you don’t” :Darren chasing after me.

“Ahh!” :me trying to run faster.

I ran around the corner

His legs were longer than mine, running faster

He came at the side of me, then leaned in

Moving closer towards me

‘leave me alone’ :me

I found myself backed in a corner

I had ran into someone’s garden hoping they would help,

But no one was in

‘Darren… please!’ :me pleading with him

I ran around the garden

It was like being younger playing tag

But this time I played like my life depended on it

I ducked behind some bins while he was looking elsewhere for me

I held my breath

Cupping my hand over my mouth

I knew I had to be at that corner

I saw him come round the side of the bins I was behind,

RUN!

I ran at the other side running back out of the garden

‘Oi!” ‘Darren running after me

I ran heading for the same lamppost

Brendon’s car was there!

I reached the corner

Darren was nearly fully tired and had slowed down

I stood at the corner

Moving my head in every direction

Where’s Brendon?!

I looked back at Darren… Where was he?

‘Peek-a-boo’ :Darren from behind

He pushed me to the ground

He put his foot on my stomach

I closed my eyes, this was it

“Chloe!” :Brendon running from the side. He rugby tackled Darren, knocking him to the ground. He threw me the keys to his car.

“Get in the car… NOW!” :Brendon facing me. He turned his attention to Darren who was now unconscious.

Brendon lifted himself up off the floor, diving for the car.

“Where are the keys?” :Brendon looking at me

“Here” :me handing them over.

He put the car in acceleration and drove like never before.

We reached Ryan’s apartment, and walked up into the front room.

“Err… why are we here?” :me looking around confused.

“Cause I lost my house because of the manager” :Brendon almost ashamed.

“Oh… at least you have a roof over your head” :me trying to cheer him up.

“Do you want anything to eat?” :Brendon walking into the kitchen.

“Err yea sure. Thanks” :me sitting down. He brought the snacks in, placing them on the table in front of us. I grabbed a sandwich taking a small bite.

“So are you o.k.?” :Brendon looking at me concerned. I swallowed the sandwich in my mouth.

“Yea, thanks to you” :me kissing him on the cheek. He placed his hand on my face, forbidding me to pull away.

My lips returned to his, intensifying the moment. Our lips moved closer together, as did our bodies.

After a while I pulled away looking straight at him. We both smiled. This was it, I knew after everything what had gone on, I knew I loved him.

“Brendon… thanks” :me

“For…?” :Brendon acting clueless.

“Everything…” :me whispering in his ear. I placed my head on his chest, gently falling asleep by his gentle touch.

---

[ Rialle’s p.o.v]

I ran upstairs, signing onto msn for the last time. I appeared offline double clicked on Robyn’s name, who wasn’t online.

I am sorry to do this, but it has to be done. Never forget me please. I know it’s sudden and I know it can never be re-done or taken back. Just remember this is not your fault and I never meant for this to hurt you, like I know it probably will. I’ll never forget the times we laughed, cried and loved, wherever I end up.

Rialle

I closed the window, clicking onto Becky’s name. The window opened and typed.

Becky, I’m sorry. I know I have to do this, no matter how much it may hurt. I hope you and Tom are together forever, you really do deserve each other no matter what other people may say. I guess this is my final goodbye, and our final conversation on msn.

Rialle

Next was Chloe. I double clicked on the name, opening the last window I would ever.

Chloe, after everything you deserve a man that loves you, so choose carefully. I know I really don’t have the place to give out advice like that, but I care about you. I’m sorry for everything I did that caused the differences. But now I’m off, for good. Bye x

Rialle

I looked down at the keyboard, knowing these would be the last words I would ever type again. A single tear fell my eye, hoping and praying there was another way. I wheeled backwards on my chair, finally lifting my head up. I gazed around the room, taking one last look. I closed my eyes, taking one last deep breath. I walked across the room, opening my door. I stepped across the room towards my mum’s room. I bent down in front of her bed-side table, opening the very bottom draw. Yes... she had left some there. I took a box of pain killers, 500mg each. I emptied a whole strip out onto the palm of my hand. Looking at them, ‘is this the end?’

I placed my hand to my mouth, then flicking my head back. The tablets fell into my mouth, the end was near. I curled up on the floor, knowing this was going to hurt. I didn’t take any sleeping tablets, even though there were some there. I wanted to feel the pain that I knew everyone else would feel afterwards. I heard the gate shut outside. I ran down the stairs, quickly locking my mum out.

!Knock!

“Rialle, It’s mum let me in!” :mum outside

“No” :me refusing. I was in tears, knowing she would obviously be the one who would realise what I had done.

“Rialle! Stop pissing about and let me in” :mum getting rather pissed off.

“No… now leave me alone!” :me screaming at the door.

“Why not?! Rialle it’s cold, let me in!” :mum not going.

“No!!! Leave me alone!” :me

“Rialle - What have you done?” :mum slightly sounding scared.

“Leave me alone! You’re not coming in so you might as well go back” :me

“Rialle please, let me help!” :mum pleading with me. Nothing had ever hurt so much. The tablets kicked in.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” :me collapsing on the floor. The pain was unbelievable. I clutched my stomach.

“Rialle!! Let me in NOW!!” :mum banging on the door.

“Mum, I … can’t… AHH!” :me trying to my words out.

“Rialle what have you done?” :mum

“Mum… I’m sorry-” :me finally closing my eyes. Darkness enclosed all around me.

My last memories, my mum crying and hugging my body. I had no idea how she got in, just that she was holding my body, as I took my last breath.

---

[Robyn’s p.o.v]

Ryan’s mobile went off. He took his phone out, answering it with a agitated ‘hello’.

“Err… ok. We’ll be there straight away.” :Ryan closing his phone.

“What’s wrong?” :me looking at him, I knew something was up.

“It’s Jon…” :Ryan hugging me.

[At The Hospital]

We arrived and walked into his ward, and looked at his bed.

“Where’s Jon” :Ryan running over to one of the nurses.

“I’m sorry-” :nurse

“What?… no… but you, someone said” :Ryan stressed.

Anyone could have guessed, the news wasn’t good.

“Brendon!” :Ryan running over. Brendon and Chloe had just arrived at the hospital. Chloe had a few scratches on her face.

“Whoa… what happened to you?” :me walking over to give her a hug.

“I met this lad… he was really sweet at first, then he turned on me” :Chloe looking down, ashamed.

“Well we did warn you. Not everyone tells the truth and you didn’t know if he was a mass murderer or what! You cheese! Well as long as you’re o.k. now yea?” :me making sure.

“Yea… Brendon saved me from him” :Chloe quite pleased with the fact.

“So you two…?” :me smiling.

“Yea we are… by the way… do you know what’s going on?” :Chloe

“No idea, but I don’t know if I should. The nurse didn’t sound so convincing when Ryan asked her” :me unsure.

“C’mon… They probably need us if it is” :Chloe dragging me over by the arm.

“Err…” :me feeling really out of place.

“Brendon… what’s going on?” :Chloe putting her arms around his waist.

“I don’t know” :Brendon

“No one will tell us and we have no idea where the fuck Jon is” :Ryan getting frustrated.

“O.k. Calm down babes… I’m sure everything is o.k.” :me really hoping I was actually right.

“Finally!” :Ryan as a doctor stepped round the corner and was heading towards him.

“Are you Ryan Ross?” :Doctor

“Yea… now can you tell me what’s going on?” :Ryan

“I’m afraid the news isn’t good…” :Doctor.

---

[Back at Rialle’s house] [no p.o.v]

Caroline [Rialle’s mum] knocked down the door, breaking the lock. Rialle was on the floor, almost knocking on death’s door. She collapsed on her knees, bending down at the side of her.

“Rialle!! What have you done?” :Caroline in tears.

---

[Back at the hospital]

My phone went off just as the doctor was about to break the news.

“I better take this, I’m so sorry” :me stepping outside.

“I’m sorry… but Jon passed away half an hour ago.” :Doctor seeming uncomfortable.

“What… No!!” :Ryan. Brendon and Ryan both went to hug each other, tears flooding from everyone’s eyes.

“What caused his sudden death” :Brendon who was being the ‘strong’ one for Ryan.

“…We can’t be too sure. But we know he died of a broken heart” :Doctor, turning to leave.

I ran in, bursting through the doors pushing past the doctor in tears.

“Robyn!” :Chloe.

“Chloe… It’s… it’s Rialle!” :me squeezing her as she hugged me.

“Whoa… what?” :Chloe

“Ahh! I need to talk to Becky!!” :me panicking.

“What’s happened?” :Chloe sounding petrified.

“She’s… she’s… died” :me whispering the last word.

---

Chapter 54

We walked back into the front room. Jon was still unconscience and Ryan still had hold of him. The ambulance pulled up outside.

"Right... the ambulance is here..." :Ryan looked around for Brendon :"Where's Brendon?"

"Um... I do-" :Robyn looking as confused as Ryan.

"He's ran off. So has Chloe but not together" :me. I held onto Josh's hand as tight as I could. I was hurting so much.

"I can go and try to find him if you want?" :Josh

"Yea that would be great" :Ryan thankfully.

"But..." :me pissed off.

---

[at the hospital]

"Is he going to be ok?" :Robyn [to ryan]

"Yea he should be, so the doctor says" :Ryan looking at the depressed.

"Have you heard from Josh yet Rialle?" :Robyn

"Um... no. I'm getting worried about them all now" :me

"Why don't you try phoning him?" :Robyn

"Good idea... be right back" :me walking outside. I pulled my phone out searching for his number.

[on the phone]

"Hey Josh-" :me

"Hello? Who is this?" :girl

"Hello? Is Josh there please" :me worried and confused.

"Err... yea he is but he's a bit busy at the moment" :girl giggling in the background.

  'stop it Josh that tickles! hehe' :not on the phone.

"What do you mean he;s busy? He's supposed to be looking for Brendon and Chloe." :me annoyed.

"Who's Brendon and Chloe?" :girl sounding confused.

"Can you just put him on the phone please?!" :me

"Erm... sorry no-" :girl hanging up.

[back in the hospital]

"Well... where is he?" :Robyn

"With another girl..." :me confused. I didn't know what to do, was it just a friend... nah who speaks to a friend that way?!

"What? What dya mean with another girl? With, WITH another girl?" :Ryan

"Well it sounded like it. I can't believe it!! How could he do this to me?! After everything I'm going through at the moment!!" :me bursting into tears. I walked off into the toilets to get some tissue. I locked the door, leaning against the sink, staring into the mirror. I couldn't understand why. I'm not <i>that</i> ugly and I've been faithful and honest. There was a knock on the door and the sound of Robyn's voice.

"Rialle... are you o.k?" :Robyn sympathetically.

"Yea... I'm ... fine. Just leave... me alone... please. I just need to be alone" :me with more tears flowing from my face. I looked down in the sink, it was probably the only thing that looked remotely interesting. Tears splatted and ran down into the hole.

"Look... if you need me or anyone, you know me and Ryan are always here for you" :Robyn moving away.

About half an hour later I ventured out from the toilets, partly because someone had been banging on the wall for 10 minutes because they needed to go. I passed them on the way out, muttering sorry underneath my breath. Ryan and Robyn were outside in the waiting room hugging each other.

"Hey... are you ok now?" :Robyn still concerned.

"Yea I'll be fine, I just need to talk to hi first" :me still a bit teary.

"Good... we're off home now. Do you need a lift?" :Ryan

"Yea, please if you don't mind" :me forcing a smile :"by the way what's happening with Jon?"

"He's being kept in so they can do more tests, we don't know what's wrong with him yet" :Ryan being the first one to head for the door.

We got into the car and I arrived home, going straight upstairs.

"Rialle!! What are you doing?!" : mum storming up the stairs.

"Nothing mum leave me alone" :me trying to hide the fact I was still crying.

"Well, nice of you to say hello when you came through the door!" :mum being sarcastic. She walked into my room banging the door on my bunk bed, making me jump.

"What do you want now?" :me turning around quickly.

"To see my daughter..." :mum looking confused.

"Mum... go away!" :me frustrated,

"What have I done now!?" :Mum almost yelling.

"Argh... nothing. I;ve just got alot of shit at the moment which I need to think through so can you leave already?" :me pointing to the door.

"O.k  o.k I'm leaving. Jeez... love you too" :mum turning to leave...

[my thoughts]

how could he do this to me? After all we've been through and all that we've done. That's it, I've had enough. These shoulders have problems carrying a school bag, nevermind what the world is piling on top of me aswell. How can anyone expect anyone to cope with this? That's it, tonight... a letter will be wrote seperately to everyone. This will be the end... I can't take anymore... I won't take anymore.

Chapter 53

"Jon... what are you doing? Look at him! He's bright red, let him go!!" :Rialle pleading with him.

"Not until I see her" :Jon almost in tears. Jon was hurt and tears flowed at the bottom of his eye, waiting to throw themselves down his face. He let his arm just slightly, allowing Brendon to wriggle and break free, diving down the stairs. Jon almost shook, as if to wake himself up. He stared at the floor at the bottom of the stairs, as if he was posessed. Ryan could tell something else was wrong.

Jon threw himself down the stairs. Being paused by Ryan, and his attempt to catch him.

"Jon!" :Ryan still concerned about a friend.

Jon's eyes rolled back, facing the back of his head. His lips turned a blueish colour as though he was freezing.

"Jon... someone call an ambulance now!" :Ryan almost in tears. He looked directly into Jon's eyes, looking for any sign of life.

"Is he ok?" :Robyn concerned more about Ryan.

"I... I don't know" :Ryan refusing to take his eyes off Jon.

"The ambulance will be here shortly" :Rialle

[outside {brendon and chloe}]

"Brendon!! You're o.k!" :Chloe running and throwing herself onto him. Her arms wrapped round him as tight as she could.

"Yea... I'm fine" :Brendon slightly distant.

"... what's wrong?" :Chloe noticing.

"I don't know... I just can't help but feeling guilty. I knew he liked you and he's liked you longer than I have and I know I've hurt him. He must really love you Chloe..." :Brendon looking at the floor and avoiding eye contact with Chloe.

"What... what are you trying to say Brendon?" :Chloe beginning to cry. She pulled away, looking at his eyes.

"Um... I don't know... but" :Brendon being cut off again.

"You don't know what? But what?" :Chloe not liking where this was going.

"I'm sorry Chloe.. but we can't continue. Jon loves you, and obviously more than I ever could. I won't choose girlfriends over my friends and I won't hurt Jon. I love you, but" :Brendon finally looking at Chloe.

"You love me! Whatever Brendon!" :Chloe running off.

"Chloe... please!!" :Brendon shouting after her :"it's complicated-"

"What's wrong now?" :Rialle stepping out of the front door.

"Nothing... Chloe's ran off" :Brendon sounding fed up.

"Great... just what we needed" :Rialle sounding even more fed up.

"I'm sorry... I have to go" :Brendon trying to hide his face. Tears began to pour down uncontrollably. Brendon walked off, Rialle had given up trying to solve anything so decided to leave him.

[Rialle's p.o.v]

I walked back to Josh... He seems to be the only sane person around. He was in the kitchen, probably feeling a little left out.

"Hey babes" :me wrapping my arms around him, placing my head on his chest lightly.

"Hi" :Josh kissing me on the forehead.

"What's wrong?" :me concerned. I lifted my head to look at him, but he stared blankly outside the window.

"Um... nothing... what?" :Josh looking confused.

"What's the matter? You seem 'out of it'" :me slightly giggling.

"Oh... nothing. There's just a lot of stuff going on all at once. I;m just not used to it all" :Josh laughing quietly.

"Yea... I know what you mean. But at least we have each other for support." :me standing on tip-toes and kissing him on the cheek.

"yea-" :Josh smiling and looking at the counter, which was in the way of the floor.

Chapter 52

We reached Jon's street, parking the car a few houses away to avoid being too obvious or seen.

"Dya think they're still in there?" :Rialle worried

"I have no idea, lets just hope they are" :Josh putting his arm around her

"We need to find Chloe, maybe she knows by now where Brendon is?" :Ryan

"Yea... hopefully" :Robyn

"But she did say he's not with her... Jon took him somewhere" :Rialle leaning against Josh.

They walked forwards, quietly up the drive way. They thought better than to knock, and the door was slightly ajar enabling them to enter. Ryan was the first to go in, cautiously peering round, examining everything that was there. Everything seemed to be untouched. There were a few shuffle sounds coming from underneath the stairs. Ryan looked back at us, to make sure it was something else.He opened the door to underneath the stairs. Chloe came toppling out. I quickly ran over putting my hand over her mouth and rushing out the front door.

[outside]

"Chloe!! You're safe!" :Rialle pleased. She moved her hand over her mouth. Chloe took the biggest breath she possibly could.

"Yea... no thanks to you. I couldn't breathe!" :Chloe joking.

"Sorry... I just had to make sure you didn't scream or something. We still need to find Brendon" :Rialle

"We've only just got here" :Josh

"Glad to see you're o.k" :Robyn hugging Chloe.

"Well at least you're here now. I have no idea where Brendon is. I'm not 100% he's even in the house. But I didn't hear anyone else come out or go in.": Chloe looking at the house.

"Ahh!!-" :Ryan [from inside]

They all ran into the house. Robyn ran as fast as she could towards the front door. She flew in almost falling over. Jon was stood at the top of the stairs, he had heard them and was with Brendon. He had Brendon standing infront of him, holding a knife to his throat.

"Jon... what... what are you doing?!" :Ryan really panicing.

"What does it look like you fool?!" :Jon really angry.

"Jon... what's the matter?" :Ryan really confused and worried.

Brendon was now on the edge of the top step, hanging on to Jon's arm which was wrapped tightly sround his neck. His face was turning redder and redder.

"I know. Jon calm down, this isn't going to solve anything" :Robyn trying to help.

"What would you know... what would you all know?!" :Jon almost in tears..

"I know what happened... Chloe told me" :Robyn

"Oh so that little tart has been telling everyone now has she!?" :Jon getting worse.

"Robyn- You don't seem to be helping much" :Ryan turning to Robyn.

"Um... no. Look please jon calm down" :Robyn who was being completely ignored.

"Where is that little bitch?!" :Jon

"Who?" :Robyn pretending she didn't know.

"Chloe!!" :Jon. Brendon was really struggling to breathe and was getting more angrier the more Jon insulted Chloe.

 

Chapter 51

Jon seemed a bit too agitated as if he knew damn well what he was going to say, but something was stopping him from actually saying it. Chloe pulled away and taking a deep breath.

"Jon..." :Chloe began with a curious look on her face.

"Yea..." :Jon who looked more scared than curious.

"Do you still like me?" :Chloe looking up at him.

"W...W...What makes you ask th...that?" :Jon stuttering. He looked everywhere but at Chloe.

"Jon... just tell me" :Chloe :"Please"

"Erm... yea I do. Why?" :Jon finally saying it.

Chloe lifted herself up onto tiptoes, and kissed him. He was so shocked he pulled away quickly, breaking the kiss.

"What's wrong?" :Chloe confused.

"I... I can't do it. Brendon is my friend... and I know he really likes you" :Jon scared almost. It was like he was afraid of what Brendon would do.

"But he's had his chance, he's known for ages that I liked him" :Chloe getting frustrated.

"I know... but now it just feels like you're using me to get at Brendon and you two are both of my friends, I can't do that to either of you, or myself" :Jon walking out of the kitchen.

"Goon... he needs to make his mind up as much as I do" :Chloe mumbling to herself. Brendon walked in

"Who needs to make their mind up?" :Brendon looking rather dazed and confused.

"You do" :Chloe not realising who it was. She turned around facing Brendon. :"Oh sorry... I didn't realise it was you", trying to force a smile.

"Oh... it's err... o.k I guess." :Brendon who came off being a bit awkward.

"I'm sorry Brendon... but I can't keep going on like this... do you like me or not? I keep getting vibes that you do...but then the next minute... it's like you hate me! I mean.. what the fuck?!" :Chloe getting more and more frustrated as the more she said.

"I'm sorry... my head isn't straight either. I just get so nervous at time when I'm with you and I'm just scared of spakking everything up" :Brendon also getting frustrated.

"Why would you spak everything up and why would you think I wouldn't like you if you did? I'm not like most girls... when I like someone, I like them for them" :Chloe stepping further to Brendon and put her arms around him.

"I know that... well now I do" :Brendon laughing. He wrapped his arms around Chloe as well.

"Good-" :Chloe smiling. She lay her head on his chest. Brendon squeezed her, as though he had been waiting for this moment for a while now.

"Do you think we should go back in now?" :Chloe breaking the silence

"Nah... they know where we are" :Brendon kissing her on her head.

"Yea... true" :Chloe laughing to herself

"Chloe-" :Brendon

"Hm?" :Chloe

"I... I love you" :Brendon pushing her head away and looking down at her.

" - " :Chloe speechless

"...Sorry I shouldn't have said that-" :Brendon holding his head down, almost in shame.

"I... It's just that no one has ever said that to me really. Well they have but I've never felt the... the same to be honest. With you, it's different, you're my missing piece" :Chloe pulling him closer to her.

" - " :Brendon who was the one who was now speechless, but stood smiling.

"I love you too" :Chloe smiling. She lifted her head up so they were talking to each others' eyes.

Brendon looked down at her, with the biggest smile ever. He closed his eyes, leaning down towards Chloe. She closed her eyes, building on the moment. Their lips touching.

!bang!

"Oh... I'm sorry" :Jon who had just walked in. He put his head down, walking back out, closing the door again.

"Shit!" :Brendon panicing.

"What's the matter?" :Chloe knowing full well.

"I know he really likes you... and this wouldn't had been the best thing for him to see" :Brendon

"Oh-" :Chloe not sure of what to say.

"We should probably go after him" :Brendon

"What good is that going to do?" :Chloe

"Um... I don't know" :Brendon

"We should let him cool down first" :Chloe standing on tiptoes once again and kissing him lightly. She pulled back, and they both returned to the front room. Jon wasn't there.

"Where's Jon?" :Brendon as he sat down.

"Erm... he said something about going back to the house to pick something up" :Ryan. He was sat next to Robyn, with his arm around her.

"Why... what's happened?" :Robyn who seemed interested.

"Um... can I have a word in the kitchen Robz" :Chloe who felt uneasy.

"Yea sure... Be right back babes" :Robyn with a big grin on her face as she spoke to ryan. He kissed her on her cheek as she got up with Chloe.

[in the kitchen]

"What's gone on?" :Robyn leaning on one of the counters.

"Well... it's to do with Jon-" :Chloe

Rialle walked in holding some cups in both hands.

"Rialle!!" :Chloe having a spaz.

"What! It is my house you know" :Rialle poking her tongue out as she placed the cups in the sink.

"She has got a point there... anyway continue please" :Robyn watchin Rialle leave.

"He... kinda... maybe... walked in on me and Brendon kissing" :Chloe who let out a deep breath with the last word.

"He did what!?" :Robyn shocked.

"Well... I couldn't help it could I?" :Chloe

"Well... good on ya with you and Brendon, but no wonder he's ran off" :Robyn concerned.

"Well sorry but the door was closed!" :Chloe

"What's that going to do?!" :Robyn yelling back.

"Look I'm sorry o.k... we just need to find him before he does anything stupid!" :Chloe

"Too right we do..." :Robyn

---

[the next morning]

Jon hadn't returned that night. Spencer especially was concerned.

"Right... do you have any idea where he could have gone?" :Rialle

"My guess is home" :Ryan biting his nails trying to think.

"That would be the first and best place to look" :Robyn

"True... right everyone go and get ready. We need to find him" :Rialle who had also starte to bite her nails in worry, frustration and panic. She sat on the couch, Josh walking over, sitting next to her.

"Don't worry baby, I'm sure he'll be fine" :Josh kissing her.

"I hope so, I just feel like something has already happened" :Rialle staring into space.

"Well... I'm off to get ready o.k?" :Josh standing up and leaving. Rialle was alone in the front room.

---

[At Jon's appartment]

"What the ...?" :Ryan looking around.

Spencer had a spare key and they had got in that way. [no further questions please (:]

Ryan opened the door, which refused to go any further due to the place being smashed up.

"What the hell happened here?" :Rialle as she was the second one to step in. They all trudged in one after the other into the hall.

"Whoah... do you think Jon did this?" :Chloe scared.

"I don't know... it depends on where he's gone and what made him go in the first place" :Ryan.

Robyn and Ryan walked into the kitchen, the only place which hadn't been touched. Robyn went to sit on the table, till she saw a note.

'Spencer, Ryan & Brendon,

    I write this note in order of resignation from the band. I am so sorry we had to leave it like this. Of all the situations, I hoped it wouldn't have come down to this. I apologise for the inconvenience I must be causing now. After these past few months, what with everything what has happened I though it would be best if I returned home. My parents have been asking me to visit them and now I felt would be the best time.

                                                      Jon  x

P.S I hope it goes well for you, Brendon and Chloe '

"You have got to be kidding!" :Ryan to himself.

"What's wron sweets" :Robyn smiling unsurely

"Brendon get your ass in here now!" :Ryan yelling from in the kitchen.

Brendon ran in, wondering what the matter was.

"Do you have any idea why Jon has gone?" :Ryan

"Er..." :Brendon, wondering if he should explain or not.

"Because of you and that little tart Chloe!! No we have to find ourselves a new bass player because of you!!" :Ryan losing it.

"Excuse me!! It weren't my fault he walked in on us in the kitchen. And 2, she ain't a tart and the last time I checked we were all supposed to be friends, or maybe not. Don't you ever talk about Chloe in that way. Jon should have knocked, and that is his problem if he can't cope, not mine" :Brendon who was just about to turn to leave,

"Excuse me!  Friends should always come before girlfriends, and the last time I checked Jon was your friend as well. And it is your problem if he can't cope, if you hadn't noticed we're all in this band together and we need him just as much as he needs us. A band requires team work Brendon and you're taking advantage of it all" :Ryan

"Taking advantage! HA! I find that funny coming from you. Who was out for ages with her?!" :Brendon pointing to Robyn.

"Don't you dare turn this around on me! Who do you think you are to point at my girlfriend in that manner?!" :Ryan really losing his temper.

"Who do you think you are calling my girlfriend a tart?!" :Brendon who started to get loud the more he spoke.

"Look this isn't about you, it's about Jon. We need to find him and you need to apologise!" :Ryan rubbing his head in stress.

"Hell no! What am I saying sorry for?" :Brendon pissed off.

"Because that's probably the only way in which we'll get him back. We need him Brendon and you know it" :Ryan.

"We can always find a new bass player. We've done it before!" :Brendon

"We can't afford to lose Jon and that'll take months, months we haven't got!" :Ryan

"Look I'll find him o.k." :Brendon storming out of the kitchen. Chloe was in the front room and had been listening to everything. She followe him out to the car and got in.

"I'm sorry Brendon" :Chloe almost in tears.

"What for?" :Brendon letting out a slight laugh.

"For everything, this especially" :Chloe refusing to look at him.

"First of all look at me and what are you going on about?" :Brendon confused.

"Well it's all my fault all this is happening! If I hadn't of kissed you, none of this would be happening" :Chloe

"How can you say or even think that?! We kissed each other, I am as much to blame as you are. So stop thinking things like that right now. Look we'll find him." :Brendon leaning over and kissing her.

"Sure?" :Chloe looking at him seriously.

"Positive. Now stop worrying, we need to think of places which he might be" :Brendon turning the key to turn on the car.

---

[Back in the kitchen]

"What was all that about" :Rialle walking into the kitchen. Robyn had her arms around Ryan trying to comfort and calm him down.

"Jon's not coming back" :Robyn who passed Rialle the note.

"Shit... That's not good" :Rialle

"No it isn't. Brendon and Ryan have just had an arguement about it as well. Jon walked in on Brendon and Chloe kissing" :Robyn

"Shit... today just keeps getting better and better... and it ain't even one o'clock." :Rialle looking at her watch.

"At least there's not too much damage done I suppose" :Robyn trying to comfort Ryan.

"True... dya know where Jon is?" :Rialle

"Yea... it says he's gone to his mum and dad's" :Robyn glancing at the note.

"Right... I'll text Chloe and Brendon. They've gone out in the car trying to find him" :Rialle walking off, pulling her phone out.

---

[Rialle's p.o.v.]

As I walked into the hall, ready to text Chloe, I heard Josh on the phone.

'O.k mum I'll be there right away. Sorry mum, I've said I'm sorry. Can you just leave it please?' :Josh

"Are you o.k.?" :me confused. Josh quickly slammed his phone shut [flip phone]

"Err yea. Look I gotta go, my mum is going mad over something" :Josh walking forwards in a hurry, kissing me on the forehead and speeding out of the door.

I stood in the hall, watching him leave. Spencer came round the door frame from the spare bedroom.

"What was all that about?" :Spencer, still looking at the door, dazed.

"No idea. Something to do with his mum, so he said" :me slightly worried.

"It's probably nothing" :Spencer smiling and returning back into the bedroom. I remained in the hall, watching the doorm hoping he would rush back through it. I shook myself, almost to wake myself up. I opened my phone again and text the message to Chloe.

♪Please leave all undercoats and top hats with the♪

"hello?" :me answering the phone.

"Hey Rialle is that you?!" :chloe who seemed scared.

"Yea. Chloe what's going on. you don't sound so well" :me panicing.

"It's Jon. He's gone mental!" :Chloe almost in tears.

"whoah... calm down. Can you tell me where you are?" :me trying to get some information.

"No... erm I think we're at Jon's mum's and dad's house but I'm not too sure" :Chloe panicing.

"Look we'll be there as soon as possible. Just in the meantime, stay with Brendon. is he even there?" :me unsure because I hadn't heard his voice.

"No... Jon took him ages ago" :Chloe

"Do you know where they might be? Are they at least in the house?" :me

"Um... I think so" :Chloe sounding more and mre frightened.

"How long have you been there?" :me, walking into the kitchen.

   'We need to get to the car, Now' - me whispering to Robyn and Ryan

"Erm... I don't know, about 20 minutes. We had only just pulled up" :Chloe

   'Why what's going on?' - Ryan confused

"Look Chloe, we're on our way now. Just hold in there babes" :me putting the phone down.

"What's happening?" :Robyn confused and worried.

"Jon has lost it" :me

"What dya mean... lost it?" :Ryan confused

"He's taken Brendon hostage" :me

"And Chloe...?" :Robyn jumping down from the table.

"She's somewhere in the house" :me

"Right... come on!" :Ryan practically running out of the door, grabbing his keys from the table.

Chapter 50 [<-omg]

We finally reacher Rialle's house. they were all in their pyjamas, ready for bed.

"what the...? Why are you all in pyjamas and in bed?" :me looking at them wierd.

[normal p.o.v]

"Erm... Robyn do you know what time it is...?" :Rialle glancing over at the clock on the video.

"Err... yea that would explain it" :Robyn smiling. Ryan stood right behind, moving his hand to hold hers.

"whoah... what's this?" :Chloe looking at our hands.

"We're... like together" :Robyn smiling the biggest smile her lips could stretch.

"Oh My God! Congratulations!!" :Rialle jumping up and hugging us.

"I'm so happy for you two" :Becky smiling, she also hugged Robyn, but waited till Rialle had sat down.

Robyn sat down with the rest of them. Ryan still remained standing, quite unsure of what to do. All after everything which had gone on with Rialle, he half expected a different reaction to the one they got.

"Can I have a word... Rialle please?" :Robyn standing up stretching.

"Erm... yea sure" :Rialle smiling and leaving with Robyn

[in the hall]

"Err... are you o.k? y'know with me and Ryan? I mean you two have been through alot...and" :Robyn stuttering.

"Robyn... ROBYN! I'm fine with it, honestly. Look i am really happy for you... you've liked him alot longer than me... and besides I'm with Josh now... there's nothing between me and Ryan anymore... O.K?" :me hugging Robyn.

"Sure?" :Robyn still half unsure as she pulled away from the hug.

"Yes..." :Rialle. Robyn half expected her to turn any second, going mad and jealous.

"Good... phew... I'm glad that's clear" :Robyn wiping her forehead in relief. She smiled at Rialle and they returned to the front room.

Robyn sat down next to Ryan, Rialle next to Josh.

"Everything o.k?" :Josh putting his arm around Rialle and kissing her on the cheek. Rialle gave a slight shrug and smiled, cuddling up to Josh even more. Josh smiled and turned back to the T.V.

"Hey... Chloe?" :Brendon began. He had a slight tremor in his voice.

"Yea-" :Chloe who was still not talking to Brendon.

"Can I talk to you?... privately?" :Brendon

"No... I'm fed up of your 'talks' you don't talk!!" :Chloe having a spaz.

"Um... I'll get some more drinks" :Jon uneasily. He got up and left for the kitchen, almost in a rush.

"Yea... I think i'll help him" :Chloe who left, throwing a dirty look towards Brendon.

Everyone fell silent. the awkwardness could have been cut with a blunt knife... these situations [knowing Hayley especially] were common and knew how to be dealt with.

'Pfffff'   :Tom's butt.

"Tom... that better had not had been you" :Robyn screwing up her face in disgust.

"Ah... That's a stinker!" :Tom bursting out laughing. Everyone knew what to do...

a) evacuate the room b) hold your breath till you got there  c) in the meantime hold your nose and try and not breathe in the deadly fumes.

"Oh My God!! Tom!!" :Rialle hitting him playfully on the arm. Everyone in the room had their noses held.

"We have to sleep in here!!" :Robyn burying her face in Ryan's neck and chest.

"I know init great?" :Tom smiling. He wrapped his arms around Becky so she couldn't go anywhere. She sat there half dazed, half asleep to go with it.

"Tom... you are a smelly bastard!" :Rialle

"Rialle!! language" :Becky shocked... and something had finally awoken her.

"Sorry... tu est un smelly salude" :Rialle giving Becky a sarcastic smile and returning to giving Tom a dirty look.

"...look you can't say you've never farted" :Tom trying to prove a point.

"Err excuse me... at least if I was going to fart... I would come with a warning label" :Rialle throwing a HA face back.

Everyone burst out laughing including Rialle.

---

[In the kitchen]

"Hey..." :Chloe heaving.

"hey... what's up?" :Jon who was searching through the cupboards for glasses.

"Ugh! everything at the moment..." :Chloe closing her eyes, half wishing everything was normal and straightforward.

"What dya mean... with Brendon?" :Jon intrigued.

"yea... I don't know if I like him anymore. I liked him so much, for so long and only now he realises. Argh! My head is just messed up at the moment" :Chloe slamming her fist on one of the counters.

"Woah... calm down. You know I'm here for you, don't you?" :Jon walking over to Chloe. He wrapped his arm around her, looking down smiling, then kissing her on the forehead.

"I know... I just need to sort things out in my own head ya know?" :Chloe confused.

"Well I'm always here for you. I ... I..." :Jon began, then stopped.

"You what?" :Chloe looking up even more confused.

"Um... nevermind, I've forgot what I was going to say anyway" :Jon

Btw if you like my writing I've started another journal on my other account which is liloka

It's not a band fic but tis quite good (: and it's Drained From the Lack Of Your Touch and I STRONGLY recommend people reading ready to fall by picturemedrowning cause she is an awesome writer!!

Anyways... to continue (: ...

---

Chapter 50

Ryan was kissing me! i kissed him back.. I had liked him for a while now. He had his hands on my face. He had his back arched inwards, his body leaning towards mine. I could feel his chest breathing in and out wards on mine. As his eyes twitched I could feel his eyelashes tickle and sweep across my cheeks. I closed my eyes, in hope of never having to let go. Unfortunately I couldn't hold my breath for any longer. I slowly pulled away catching my breath slowly, due to still being in shock.

"Err... I'm sorry... I ... I shouldn't have done that?" :Ryan turning around almost in shame.

"Err... why not?" :me lifting his chin back up with a single finger. I smiled at him in a reassuring way. He smiled back at me, with an even more of a twinkle in his eye.

I kissed him back, not even sure if I wanted to return to the sleepover. The kiss lasted for ages and felt like heaven. His arm was on my hip and the other rested on my leg. I placed my free hand on his arm which was on my leg. His hand gripped my arm and then worked its way up to underneath my top. Not too far or I probably would have hit him. I pulled back, gasping for air. I had never kissed anyone like that.

"Erm... do you think they'll be wondering where we are?" :me smiling in a good way.

"Yea probably but they'll live. At least we're giving them something to think about" :Ryan laughing to himself. Everything fell silent. We threw a quick glance at each other until I broke the silence.

"So... what does this mean?" :me hoping I weren't being too pushy.

"What do you want it to mean?" :Ryan looking at the floor.

"Erm..." :me being unsure. [It was now or never]

"I love you..." :Ryan finally saying what I had been meaning to. I was shocked by the sheer randomness and fell silent. I looked at him, mouth slightly open, eyes widened but twinkling. A lump developed in my throat, disabling me to say anything back in reply.

"I... I love you too" :me finally spilling out my words. I let out a cough in choking out the 'lump'.

Ryan almost leaped onto me. Hugging me tightly. I hugged him back, wishing this moment would last forever. But in the back of my mind I knew we would have to return to Rialle's and I would be forced to share him with everyone else.

'Lets get these teen hearts beating faster faster'  {My phone}

I pulled back, both of us releasing each other from the grips of our arms.

""hello..."" :me answering the phone.

""Err... is this Robyn?"" :Rialle

""Yea it is. Rialle what is it?"" :me slightly pissed off.

""Err... where the hell are you?! We're all waiting for you and Ryan... What the hell are you two doing eh?"" :Rialle taking the piss... again.

""Excuse me!! What do you think we're doing?!"" :me giving out a slight giggle.

""...Err what am I supposed to think?! You've been gone for ages! And how would I know what you two are getting up to... and from that laugh I don't want to know"" :Rialle bursting out laughing, Ryan could now hear her as he let out a small laugh, nodding his head at the same time.

""Err... yea whatever Rialle"": me smiling nodding my head

""Look, how long are you 'lovebirds' going to be? We can't wait around forever and we ain't got all day dont ya kno"" :Rialle laughing

""Right, alright... we're on our way now. Bye"": me hanging up, really pissed off.

"Rialle..." :me being cut off.

"I know... I heard" :Ryan

"...how could you not?" :me mumbling under my breath :"Are we going then?"

Ryan leaned in even closer, moving his hand further up my top. His hands were warm due to us being inside for so long. I pulled away knowing if we didn't get back to Rialle's soon, she would kill us.

---

[on the way to Rialle's]

A thunger cloud rolled over our heads. We had decided to take the long way so we had more time to ourselves.

"Oh great..." :me ¬.¬  frowning

"What's wrong?" :Ryan looking up and noticing.

"That" :me pointing upwards :"I hate rain" ... it started to rain, getting heavier and heavier.

"Aww why? Rain isn't that bad" :Ryan trying to point out the advantages ... which there hardly were... we were stood in the middle of the street... dripping wet and freezing to death.

"Because... it gets you wet... and my pillow! look at it!!" :me really pissed off. first Rialle bugs me, and now this... stupid rain!

"So you wouldn't like it, even if I did this...?" :Ryan stopping and turning around.

He spun around...

walking front of me, then turning to face me...

I stopped, unable to go any further...

My pillow was now getting wet through...

He leant over... smiling down at me...

He took his arms, wrapping one around me...

pulling me closer towards him...

I stepped forward... being taken in by the moment...

We looked lovingly deep and direct into each other's eyes...

He closed his eyes...

and I closed mine...

I wrapped my arms around him...

moving my right arm upwards, hand cupped around his face...

We leaned in closer...

Lips touching...

body heat being shared...

His hair dripping water all over my face...

Our lips moved in the kissing motions...

Lasting what felt like forever...

I stood on tiptoes...

Trying to reach his lips better...

His tongue moving over my top lip...

His eye lashes tickling my cheeks...

His heartbeating close to mine...

My foot slightly lifted...

Almost in a fairy tale way...

We got quite a number of odd 'glances' by passers by. Not by what we could see... but by the cold air that flew by as people walked past, then quickly moving on. I broke the kiss. We were both smiling, and I felt like the happiest person alive. Ryan Ross and Robyn Burns... who would have imagined it. I could tell when we first met, I liked him... but not because he was 'Ryan Ross'... but because he made me smile on the inside. He was everything I could have asked for... just all in one package. We still had our arms round each other... too happy to bother moving. I was too and too cold to care... and who would want to move from this atmosphere?!

"Shall we go?" :me wanting to get warm. Ryan frowned slightly, as so did I, just inside.

"Yea sure... it's freezing out here anyway" :Ryan smiling. we walked with our arms round each other... holding on the moment as long as we could...

Sorry it has taken me so long to post... this was wrote like 3 weeks ago but I've had a little computer trouble... so enjoy (: and i will be writing the next one tonight so you'll have two to read :)

---

Chapter 49

"Well... I don't know if you would... but I'm not going to take that chance of looking stupid" :Ryan blushing a little.

"Well whatever it is Rialle is going to try and make us do, I'm sure it won't be that bad" :me reassuring him.

"Good... and lets not give her any ideas. You two together are lethal!" :Ryan nudging me in a playful way. There was a small pause of which we were looking in each other's eyes. We still hadn't opened my front door.

"Um... your pillow Robyn" :Ryan side glancig quickly at the front door.

"Huh... oh... oh yea" :me smiling. I stepped up on the front door, constantly thinking of what was happening. I put the key in the door slowly, not concentrating on what I should have been doing.

"C'mon... this time today" :Ryan poking me.

"Good things come to those who wait" :me trying to think of a sarcastic comeback... it just didn't come out right.

"Yea... but we're getting a pillow... what good is going to come out of that if we wait" :Ryan

"Erm... I have no idea. Can I get back to you on that one" :me =]

"just get it" :Ryan pushing me. The door burst open and I went flying in. Ryan stepped in and tripped over the step.

"Argh!" :me as Ryan flew into me.

"Oops! sorry bout that" :Ryan looking at me and trying to re-gain his balance.

"It's ok" :me looking at him in like a passionate way but still remaining subtle and casual at the same time.

"Erm... is anybody in?" :Ryan

"Not that I can see, no" :me looking down the hall into the kitchen.

"Good" :Ryan

"Wh-" :me meaning why?

"Robyn, there's been something I've been wanting to ask you" :Ryan looking anywhere but me.

"...yea" :me eager to know :"what is it?"

"Erm... have you got cable" :Ryan finally looking up at me. But I could tell that was NOT what he wanted to ask me.

"Err, yea we do" :me teed off.

"Can we watch Jump In on Disney Channel. It's only on today at 6 and I know I'm going to miss it if we go back to Rialle's and I really really want to see it" :Ryan breathing quite fast but in a wierd [lying] way.

"Yea sure. I'll get some drinks from the kitchen. It's chanel-" :me heading for the kitchen.

"725" :Ryan walking into the front room. He looked displeased he hadn't been able to ask what he originally wanted to ask.

5 minutes later I went back in to find Ryan sat on the couch. He had the remote in his hand, but he wasn't looking at the T.V.

"What's up?" :me sitting next to him.

"Erm... nothing" :Ryan leaning back on the couch.

He turned to face me. I was looking at him with a bowl of popcorn on my lap and two small drinks in my hands. I looked at him... looking at me. It was a silence but not awkward, just more of a 'should I do this?' 'Do you think they'll mind if I do this?'. It was a nice but tense feeling in the air.

He gave a slight giggle and turned his head so he was looking down, still smiling.

"What's so funny?" :me confused but only very slightly. I was dying to laugh myself.

"Nothing" :Ryan still smiling. He turned his head looking at me. He looked at the drinks which were still in my hands. I looked down at the drinks and knew they were the cause for the silence. I placed the drinks on the coffee table and the popcorn next to them.

"Erm..." :Ryan staring into space, but facing the drinks.

"Wha-" :me being cut off.