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Chapter 48

We walked back home, ignoring Hayley’s comment. We had realised by then she wasn’t going to go away as easily as we’d hoped.

“Dya want to come round for tea?” :Josh looking at me as we were walking home.

“Erm, what about your mum?” :me looking at him a bit worried.

“I’m sure she won’t mind” :Josh smiling.

“Ok then as long as you know you won’t get in trouble” :me smiling back, still quite unsure.

We walked to his house. My mum had been driving me mad that much that I didn’t want to go home even just to ask.

“Err hi Linda” :me still unsure of if she approved of us going out, after seeing me with Eddy.

“Can she stay for tea mum?” :Josh shouting from inside his room.

“Erm, yea. Would you like to stay for tea?” :Linda smiling.

“Yes please” :me looking almost shocked at her.

“Rialle… come up here I want to show you something” :Josh shouting from upstairs in his room.

I looked at Linda who was walking back into the kitchen. She hadn’t looked back at me to say no, and I knew she had heard what Josh had said.

I walked upstairs and into his room. He was sat down on his sofa bed with a controller in his hand.

“Sit down you spoon” :Josh smiling.

“Alright… give me a chance!” :me laughing at him. I looked at the TV screen to see what he was playing - great pokemon.

“You need a controller if you want to play” :Josh looking at me. I turned my head to face him.

“I was thinking about that, just hadn’t got up yet” :me

“Yea O.k. Rialle. Just admit it you’re slow!” :Josh laughing and playfully elbowing me.

“Oooo you’re gonna pay for that one” :me lifting up one eyebrow. I leaned over and started tickling his feet.

“Sorry!! Stop it please!! It tickles!” :Josh squealing

“It’s supposed to” :me laughing at him. He moved his feet out of the way so I couldn’t reach. I leaned back up so I was where I was before.

“Stop it… please” :Josh looking at me.

“Aww why, and that’s just cheating!” :me pulling a sad face.

“How many times …? That doesn’t work on me, i have a cousin who’s done that too many times before” :Josh looking at me.

“Poo…” :me pulling a disappointed/angry look. Josh laughed and we kissed.

“Dya want to go on the Wii. No one is in the front room” :Linda shouting from upstairs.

“O.K mum!” :Josh shouting back.

“She still doesn’t trust us then?” :me

“Nope” :Josh kissing me again.

We finally made it down stairs. We all sat down for tea, there was a random knock at the door.

“I’ll get it” :Linda getting up and walking to the front door.

“Is… is… is Rialle here please?” :Chloe who seemed to be crying.

“Erm yes… who is it?” :Linda confused.

“It’s… it’s Chloe” :Chloe snivelling and trying to control her breathing. Linda came back into the kitchen.

“It’s for you Rialle” :Linda sitting back down. I was already standing up and on my way to the front door. As soon as I saw Chloe I ran to the door and put my arms around her.

“What’s the matter!?” :me panicking.

“It’s… it’s… Brendon” :Chloe pulling away.

“Why? What’s he done now?” :me still confused and completely lost.

“Well, it’s not him personally…”:Chloe waffling on.

“What has gone on Chloe?” :me losing patience.

“It’s panic… their manager has run off with all their money. They’ve got nothing left. They’re in a hell of a lot of debt. They don’t know what to do” :Chloe who had now controlled her tears.

“Oh my god!! Are they sure it was their manager?” :me gob smacked.

“Yea they are. He left them a message before he left.” :Chloe

“Where are they now?” :me

“I don’t know. They’re trying to find places to stay” :Chloe

“What dya mean?” :me confused slightly.

“They’ve lost their apartments” :Chloe who was finally breathing normally.

“Oh my god!” :me stunned :”Where are they staying tonight?”

“Erm… no idea. that’s why they’re out now trying to find somewhere” :Chloe

“Why didn’t you ask if they could stay at your’s?” :me confused

“I don’t know. Can one stay at your’s?” :Chloe

“Probably. I don’t think my mum would mind” :me thinking of where else they could stay.

“How about I ask my mum if I can have a massive sleepover” :me with a big grin.

“That would be awesome!!” :Chloe finally smiling.

“Right well I’ll call round after my tea. There’s garlic mushrooms… and they are to die for!! So I have to go. I’ll call you later” :me really wanting those mushrooms.

“Okays… cya later then” :Chloe going home. I returned into the kitchen and sat down.

“Sorry about that. I hope you didn’t mind too much” :me nervously.

“No of course not. What’s the matter?” :Linda

“Oh my friends have lost everything. Their manager has took all their money and they’re in a lot of debt.” :me

“Oh dear” :Linda

“I was thinking about having a big sleepover. That way they wouldn’t feel as bad if they stayed at mine” :me

“Oh yes… that’s a good idea” :Linda

“Could I go mum?” :Josh. His dad had been listening and spat the wine he had in his mouht all over the table in shock.

“Oh, are you alright Hun?” :Linda surprised.

“Yea fine… what?” :Peter [Josh’s dad] looking at Josh.

“Could I go to the sleepover?” :Josh

“Well I don’t think you’re mum would approve would she… Rialle?” :Linda wanting me to reply no.

“Yes she would, because there’s not just me and Josh. But I haven’t asked her yet about any of it so it’s still early hours” :me trying to smile my way out of it. Linda was having none of it and give me the evils. I shut up and sunk down in my chair more.

“Well I don’t see what the problem is” :Josh

“Well, it depends on what is going to happen on this sleepover” :Peter looking at Josh then quickly at me.

“Erm, probably nothing much. It’s short notice so I’ve not had time to plan a lot” :me

“Well what do you want to happen?” :Peter

“Nothing like what you’re hinting Mr Ashley!” :me pretty shocked. I knew fully well what was being hinted/asked. Josh’s younger brother was sat at the side of me looking at me as I spoke, then at his dad when he spoke.

“Well then… you can go” :Peter looking down at his plate. It looked as though what he had said was painful. He looked down at his plate as though he had been defeated.

“Thank you” :me smiling down the table. I said it softly so it didn’t show the true excitement inside. I felt a bit awkward after that conversation.

We all finished tea and I helped clean up like usual.

“Thank you for tea Mrs Ashley.” :me smiling as I put the plates in the sink.

“No problem Rialle. You’re always polite and helpful.” :Linda

“Do you want to go home to ask your mum about the sleepover?” :Josh walking next to me.

“Erm, yea sure. You coming with me?” :me

“Yea. Just let me get my coat” :josh running upstairs.

“Will you get mine as well” :me shouting from the bottom.

5 minutes later he came downstairs with his coat on… but not with my coat.

“Where’s my coat?” :me looking confused.

“Erm… I couldn’t find it” :Josh laughing.

“What’s so funny?” :me lost.

“Oh my god!! You’ve not even noticed!” :josh laughing.

“What?!” :me getting frustrated. Josh moved his coat to the back of him. He had my coat on.

“What the…” :me

“I can’t believe you didn’t notice… with the hood” :Josh taking his coat off to take mine off.

“What are you like?” :me laughing and finally getting the joke.

“err… me” :josh smiling and finally giving me my coat.

“Ain’t that the truth” :me putting my coat on.

We reached my house. I noticed a car which was in my drive way.

“Who’s is that?” :Josh pointing at the car.

“Oh god” :me finally recognising the car.

“What’s the matter?” :Josh confused.

“It’s my uncle’s” :me taking a big sigh.

“Oh cool. Do I get to meet him?” :Josh excited.

“No” :me

“no?” :Josh confused.

“you’re staying away from him” :me casually. I walked into the house, Josh stepped into the hall.

“Well if I’m staying tonight I will have to meet him” :Josh

“Not if I cancel it and change the plans” :me smiling.

“That’s a bit overboard” :Josh

“No it’s not. Now wait here please” :me walking off into the front room.

“what… why” :Josh being cut off.

“Who’s your friend Rialle?” :uncle

“Nobody important” :me trying to cut off the conversation quickly.

“It’s probably Josh, her boyfriend” :mum

“How long are you staying for?” :me

“Erm I’m leaving in about 2 hours” :uncle

“Good. Mum can I have a sleepover tonight please?” :me

“Err, yea but a little more notice would have been nicer” :mum whinging as usual.

“yea whatever. Right then I’ll go tell everyone” :me walking back out.

Josh followed me out of the house.

“What was all that about?” :Josh still confused.

“I don’t like him.” :me

“I could tell that from a mile away” :Josh

“Look… can we just leave it at that please” :me

We reached Chloe’s house which wasn’t that far away. We knocked on the door, Chloe answered.

“Hey you guys. Is everything sorted?” :Chloe

“Erm, yea. I’m having the sleepover at mine. But no one can come until about 2 and a half hours time” :me

“Why?” :Chloe confused.

“My uncle is there” :me

“Yea… she wouldn’t let me see him either” :Josh looking disappointed.

“Oh you’ll get over it… you ain’t missing much. Look will you phone everyone and ask if they can come. I’ll tell the lads though. I want to see their faces” :me smiling.

“Okie dokie then” :Chloe closing the door.

“Look… what is your problem with your uncle?” :josh trying to understand why.

“I don’t like him” :me

“I can see that… but why?” :Josh

“I don’t know… just do. So can you stop asking me questions?” :me cutting off the conversation.

“ok ok… So where we off to now?” :Josh

“No idea. I need to sort out everything for the sleepover but my uncle’s there” :me

“Grr…” :Josh muttering under his breath. I threw a dirty look at him to shut up.

“Park?” :josh

“Yep… might as well” :me holding his hand.

My uncle soon left so we were able to sort everything out for the sleepover. Josh helped me with the beds for everyone. It took a while, through all the kissing and pillow fights.

“Err ow that hurt!” :me rubbing my head.

“Did it?” :Josh looking at me unsure.

“No, but this will” :me swinging a pillow at his head.

“Oooo I’ll get you back for that one!” :Josh.

“Oooo bring it on then” :me sticking my tongue out comically.

The beds were finally made and everyone came round. Brendon knocked on the door, Ryan, Jon and Spencer were still sat in the car which was parked. Robyn answered the door.

“We’re in the front room” :Robyn.

The lads followed he into the front room. We all jumped up to surprise them.

“SURPRISE!!” :All of us jumping up.

“Whoa! Rialle what the?” :Brendon jumping back.

“You’re staying here the night.” :me

“That’s if you want to” :Robyn fluttering her eyelashes at Ryan.

“Want to? Hell yeah!” :Brendon diving on the couch.

“Well I’ll get the others then” :Ryan going outside to get Jon and Spencer.

“You did all of this … just for us?” :Brendon looking at me.

“Well I can’t take all the credit, it was Chloe who helped the most” :me smiling.

“ahem” :Josh coughing next to me.

“Oh yes… and Josh helped me with the beds” :me laughing at him.

“Well what film are we watching first?” :Spencer coming in through the door.

“Alright!! Gummy bears!!” :Jon sitting next to Chloe who was sitting with a packet of Haribo®. [I don’t know if Jon likes gummy bears, this is just random for my journal =]

“Wha the?” :Chloe frowning at Jon who had taken the packet off her.

“Oh… sorry” :Jon smiling as he piled more gummy bears in his mouth. Chloe smiled back to let him know she was only joking.

[Overview of the sleepover]

~Chloe and jon start to get really close. Chloe can't be bothered waiting for Brendon to ask her out. Brendon starts to get jealous. Everything seems to be going fine with the couples. Robyn and Ryan are getting close. Brendon talks to Spencer about Chloe and Jon~

"Ahh! just look at him. all over her... i'm telling you... it's sick! He knows I like her, and more than him!" :Brendon [about Jon].

"Well he has liked her the longest" :Spencer biting his lip in panic. He didn't know how Brendon would react to that.

"That's not the point and we started liking her at the same time!" :Brendon getting more frustrated.

"Well you had loads of chances to ask her out!" :Spencer.

"True, but it's not my fault I:m a nervous person. She gives me butterflies in my stomach and i just freeze" :Brendon

"Well she ain't gonna wait around forever ya know" :Spencer

[Chloe's phone rings]

"It's Hayley, Shh!" :Chloe answering her phone :"Oh hey Hayley"

"Oh nout much, just the usual i'm afraid" :Chloe

"Dya wanna come round for a bit. If you want,Ii can ask my mum if you can stay" :Hayley sounding excited.

"Oh... sorry I can't. I'm soing stuff at the moment" :Chloe

"I thought you just said you were doing the usual... which is nothing" :Hayley

"Excuse me?!" :Chloe shocked

"Is rialle there? I can tell she is! Can I speak to her please?" :Hayley

"I don't think that would be a very good idea, do you?" :Chloe refusing.

"Why not? We used to be friends didn't we?" :Hayley

"Yea... but you're not now and-":Chloe

"Just get her on the phone please!" :Hayley cutting her off.

"No Hayley. Dya want me to pass on a message?" :Chloe

"Yea, tell her thanks for turning all my friends against me. it's much appreciated" :Hayley hanging up the phone.

"she sa-" :Chloe

"I know, I heard" :me smiling.

"Oh" :Chloe unsure of what else to say. There was an awkward silence in the room.

"... Cheese" :Robyn breaking it. Everyone burst out laughing.

"You are so random" :Ryan laughing

"I know... but i'm a pure genius with it" :Robyn smiling and looking directly at him.

"Has everyone got their pillows?" :me looking around.

"Yep... yep" :various people holding their pillows up into the air.

"Oops... I need to go get mine from home" :Robyn smiling.

"Trust you Robz!" :me laughing :"Go get it then"

"I'll walk with" :Ryan

At first there was a silence between us. Then I felt a warmth touching my hand. I looked down, ryan was holding my hand.

"Err ... I hope you don't mind. Your hands looked cold" :Ryan smiling.

"No of course not. I mean yea... they were a bit cold" :me smiling at him. Inside I was way more than grinning.

"So dya know what else we're going to do at this sleepover?" :Ryan

"Erm no not a clue" :me being honest. i had no idea what Chloe and Rialle had come up with for us to do, with them... we could be doing anything!

"I hope it's not too embarrassing" :Ryan pulling a quick =S face.

"Why not?" :me laughing quietly.

"I Don't want to look like an idiot-" :Ryan looking down at me.

"Oh... they won't care what you look like. i mean we all love you just the same even if you did some dodgy things" :me, I knew I was babbling and nothing was making sense, even to me.

"Looking like an idiot - infront of you" :Ryan finally getting his sentence out.

"Oh. why would you care what I thought" :me walking up my path.

Chapter 47

Dinner came faster than usual. I ran out to Chloe and Robyn who were already there.

“Hey I hear somebody got in trouble this morning” :Robyn looking straight at me.

“Actually we didn’t. She thought that we’d been kissing on school ground, but we didn’t so we got off the hook. You should have seen her face when we proved her wrong HA! That is a picture I will never forget” :me laughing at the last part.

“So you didn’t get done for anything then?” :Chloe looking shocked.

“Nope, but we’ll be watched like hawks for ages… till it dies down anyway that we proved her wrong” :me.

“Yea I don’t think you proving her wrong went down well” :Robyn

“Err no. Where’s everyone else?” :me looking around.

“Erm… I have no idea to be honest” :Chloe

“Hey Chloe… can I have a word?” :Brendon running over. He had a smile on his face but was shaking like a leaf.

“Err yea sure. What’s up?” :Chloe looking at both me and Robyn, then back at Brendon.

“Err it’s kinda private…” :Brendon looking at Chloe and taking really long blinks so he didn’t have to look at her all the time when they were talking.

“O…k” :Chloe getting up. Brendon reached for her hand. Chloe was unsure about taking it so she refused and leant on Robyn’s shoulder instead.

“Eugh… thanks a lot” :Robyn moving and rubbing her shoulder :”Try and warn me at least next time please”

Chloe and Brendon walked off to the corner. Brendon hardly looked at Chloe, instead gazing non-stop at the floor.

[Chloe’s p.o.v]

Me and Brendon stood there for ages, before he even said a word to me. I stood there patiently looking at him, ready for at least one word to come out.

“…hello?” :me looking at him to encourage him to say what he needed.

“Err… Chloe…?” :Brendon finally taking his eyes from his shoe.

“Yes Brendon?” :Chloe

“Err I just remembered… I err… got to go do something… now so …bye” :Brendon trembling and practically running off. By the time I had got back to the others Ryan was already there.

“Hey you guys!” :me smiling, I was still confused of what that had just been about.

“Where’s Brendon gone?”: Ryan who was looking as confused as I was.

“Erm… I have no idea. He said he wanted to talk to me, said nothing and then ran off.” :me turning to Robyn I lifted up my arm :”Do I stink or something?”

“No idea but I ain’t smelling you” :Robyn pulling a face and pushing Chloe away.

“Fine then” :Me, putting my arm down

"Don't worrk Chloe, I'm sure you smell like a slut too" :Ryan smiling

”Woo I can smell just like you. Come on people! Scooch over!” :me laughing at Ryan's comment.

“No! On your feet lose your seat” :Ryan smiling

“Move now or… I’ll steal your guitar pick” :me

“Go for it… I’ve got plenty more” :Ryan chuckling.

“No you can’t steal his guitar pick… they won’t be able to write anymore songs!” :Robyn panicking. Instead Robyn was the one who moved… also so she could get closer to Ryan.

“Oh yea… how did the song writing go yesterday. Get anything done after Brendon sent you out?” :Rialle elbowing Ryan softly.

“Err… in one word… no” :Ryan. Robyn and I looked at Rialle and Ryan a bit lost.

“How come” :Rialle laughing.

“Brendon was still watching that sad drama programme on T.V and he was all I could hear” :Ryan showing some frustration.

“Oooo which drama thing was it?” :me eager to know.

“I think it was something like scrubs… no… skin… skins that’s it! Skins” :Ryan changing the direction of his face so he was looking at me. Brendon came round the corner. He was chewing his nails, which I had never seen him do. He was looking at the floor, still. He started to walk over, noticed me and turned around. I still looked at him, oddly.

“Hey Bren!!” :Ryan waving for him to come over. Josh, Eddy and Andrew came round the other corner. Rialle got up to greet Josh. Brendon started to come over but looked like he was dying to get away.

“Hey Ryan… can I have a word?” :Brendon

“Err yea sure. With me or Chloe?” :Ryan chuckling slightly.

“You … please” :Brendon

They went to a corner. 5 minutes they both sat down. Brendon sat next to me, and still seemed to be nervous.

“Brendon what did you want to say to me earlier?” :me dying to know.

“Err… Can I ask you now, privately?” :Brendon standing up once more. He seemed to have gained a little more confidence than last time.

“Err yea sure. Just tell me this time please” :me smiling. We walked over to the other side. Then all confidence just flooded out of him.

“… I don’t know how to say this” :Brendon biting his lip through hesitation.

“Can I help?” :me really wanting to know. It was like torture, him standing there all shaking and making a big deal out of it.

“No I have to do this” :Brendon trembling even more.

“Just tell me!! I’m not going to bite your head off” :me giggling.

“No… but… look I’m nervous. I’ll ask you another time” :Brendon disappearing again in school. I returned to the others, still unknowing of what Brendon wanted to tell me.

“Did he tell you this time?” :Ryan

“Erm… no” :me still confused.

“Do you want me to tell you what he was supposed to say?” :Ryan seeing I was getting fed up.

“YES!! Please, please, please!” :me practically begging him.

“Chill Chloe… you’re worse than me begging Ryan Ross” :Robyn pulling a face at me.

“Err since when have you begged Ryan?” :me turning round at Robyn.

“Never… that’s my point” :Robyn being sarcastic.

“Well aren’t you the sweet and innocent angel of us all?” :me sarcastically as well.

“err… do you want me to tell you or what?” :Ryan getting impatient.

“Yes… I just said that didn’t I!” :me

“Right… he wants to ask you out… like make it official” :Ryan

“WHAT!! Oh my god … are you serious?! That would be awesome!!” :me jumping around like a loony.

“Hey… he still needs to ask you yet Chloe” :Ryan

“I know… why is he so nervous about asking me… he knows I like totally worship the ground he walks on. He is so hott!” :me excited. Brendon came up from behind. His face seemed to be panicking.

“Who’s hot?” :Brendon intrigued.

“Erm… no one. No one really” :me unsure of if I should tell him.

“Oh o.k. then” :Brendon sitting down next to Ryan. I knew I was to tell Brendon I was talking about him, I would have to tell him how I knew, and that wouldn’t go down well between him and Ryan.

“So what was it you wanted to ask me?” :me smiling, mostly inside but I couldn’t help it.

“Erm… it doesn’t matter anymore” :Brendon practically ignoring me and turning around to continue his conversation with Ryan.

“Fine then. I’m going to get some dinner… you coming?” :me throwing a mild dirty look at Brendon and walking off with Robyn to get some dinner.

[Rialle’s p.o.v.]

I saw Josh, Eddy and Andrew appear from behind where we were sitting. Brendon had just pissed off Chloe, as everyone could tell with the look she threw at him.

“Hey you!” :me smiling. Everything was finally the way it should be. Eddy was back to normal along with Andrew, making their ‘oh god here they go’ noises again’.

“Hey. You heard from Mrs Firth?” :Josh rapping his arms round my waist.

“Nope. But you do know we’re going to be stalked till the end of dear school lives. You know if our behaviour gets ‘inappropriate’ again” :me laughing

“Yea… I mean what was all that crap with year 7s copying us. Like they don’t see their mums, dads and people in the street!!” :Josh getting frustrated towards the end of his sentence.

“It’s only ‘cause we’re young and we’re in love” :me kissing Josh and smiling.

“Holla!!” :Josh hi-fiving Andrew like he usually did, with the added ‘click’ at the end.

Becky, tom and Hayley came from round the corner. Hayley was stood in the middle as usual, so all eyes were on her. Becky and Tom both slowed down so they could walk together but Hayley huffed and walked on towards Ryan.

“Hey you see Ian or Gerard today?” :Hayley

“Nope sorry. I don’t think they’re in” :Ryan turning his head to Brendon again.

“Hey… I see you two are back together?” :Hayley walking over to me and Josh.

“Well yea… that’s what it looks like doesn’t it?” :me sarcastically.

“Hm” :Hayley looking at us and looking around the shelters.

“I take it Ian and Gerard aren’t in” :Eddy croaking up from behind.

“…how would you know?” :Hayley looking down at him.

“’Cause you’re not gauging into their faces” :Eddy smiling sarcastically.

“Oooo burn! Good one Eddy!” :me hi-fiving him.

“Whatever Rialle!” :Hayley p**sed off.

“What are you doing here anyway. No one here likes you anymore Hayley” :me looking back down at her.

“Erm…” :Hayley stuck for a thought.

“If you hadn’t noticed Rialle - No one else is here” :Josh whispering in my ear, but still loud enough for Hayley to hear. She threw a nasty look at him, to ‘shut up’ but he didn’t take it onboard.

“Dya know where Robyn or Chloe are?” :Hayley

“Nope, and don’t care. Now get lost Hayley” :me

“Excuse me?” :Hayley shocked

“Look we want nothing to do with you anymore, so get lost” :me looking straight at her. It felt as though she was still ignoring me.

“Fine then” :Hayley turning around.

“ - Oh and one more thing” :me shouting her back.

“What?” :Hayley turning around.

“You’ll never split us up” :me grinning.

“I’ll take that bet” :Hayley walking off.

Chapter 46

I walked home thinking of what I was about to do at school the next day. It wasn't going to be easy but if it got me back Josh I was more than happy. At least I could say I'd tried.

I got home and went straight to my room. Mum was busy in the kitchen so probably didn't hear me come in. I threw my school bag down and got changed from my uniform. I sat at my computer. MSN signed me on automatically but I closed it without looking who was online. No doubt josh had already blocked me and I was in no position to start talking to Eddy again and I really couldn't be bothered. I checked my buzznet and had loads of messages.. most of which were chain mail and 'hey guess what...?!' Blah Blah... By the time I had finished everything of what I was doing, it was pretty dark outside. I sat on my bed which was underneath the window. I peeped through the curtains staring outside. It almost felt as if I was waiting for something to happen.

" {deep sigh} " :me blinking long. I fell backwards on the bed lying flat staring up at the ceiling. I turned my head to my bed side table and turned my phone on from the screensaver.

"Nobody loves me..." :me meaning no one had text me. I still lay there on my bed examining the wallpaper. I closed my eyes whilst day dreaming of how things could be right now instead of what they were.

In what felt like 5 minutes later, was actually 2 hours... I felt a warm blanket being put over me. I stirred from my sleep and opened an eye. It was my mum who hadn't noticed that she had woken me. Watching her leave, I then closed my eye and fell back asleep.

The alarm went off at 7:00 … normal time. I stretched out my arm and hit the off button.

“Get up” :mum shouting from her room.

“I’m up!!” :me shouting back. It was obvious I was up, the alarm was right next to my head!

I got up out of bed and ready for school. I stepped outside, Brendon and Ryan were outside ready. They were having a thumb war at the bus stop. Ryan lost and hung his head in shame just as I reached the bottom of the path. Brendon threw his arm in the air.

“Still doing it?” :Brendon smiling at me.

“Yep… I just hope it’ll work” :me forcing a smile.

“Sure it will… you just need faith” :Brendon

“And if it does go wrong… which it won’t” :Ryan quickly adding the last bit :”We’re still here for you”

“Thanks… and believe me right now I really do appreciate that!” :me putting my arm out for the bus. We got on the bus and sat down. Josh was sat at the back with Eddy and Andrew. I smiled but got no response. I thought better than to sit anywhere near them so we sat in a 4 seat together, Ryan, Brendon and I.

“It’ll get better Rialle… I promise” :Ryan giving me a slight nudge. I smiled back.

We got to school earlier than usual.

“What time is it?” :me looking around at Brendon and Ryan.

“Err it’s about 8:00-ish” :Brendon looking at his watch.

“We’ve got half an hour till school starts” :Ryan pointing out that interesting fact.

“Hey you should speak to Josh now” :Brendon

“What!? I can’t do it now I need time to prepare!!” :me panicking.

“No, you need to do it now or you’ll never do it!” :Brendon pushing me towards the school statue in the front of the school, building.

“No I’m not doing it!!” :me screaming.

“Yes you are Rialle!!” :Ryan pushing me.

“You want Josh back don’t you?” :Brendon

“Yea more than anything-”:me

“Well then you need to do this Rialle” :Ryan

“If he means that much to you Rialle prove that to him” :Brendon

Brendon lifted me up on the wall surrounding the fountain.

“Brendon… I’ve gone blank… I don’t know wha- wha - what to say!” :me shaking like jelly/Jell-O.

“Improvise!!” :Ryan quietly just to me.

I stood there… I looked at Josh who hadn’t noticed. Luckily at that point no one had noticed [I could still make a run for it], apart from Mrs Firth from inside the school building.

“Quick! He’s going” :Ryan freaking out. I still stood there still not knowing what the hell to say.

“Go on!!” :Brendon pushing me.

“Josh!!” :me shouting so he heard. Unfortunately so did everybody else who was outside school and was now looking at me.

Josh turned around, stunned by where I was. Eddy and Andrew both turned around as well. I looked at Eddy, then back at Josh. I knew who I wanted to be with now.

“Well go see what she wants” :Andrew pushing him.

“After what she did no way” :Josh shaking his head and standing still.

“Josh, you’ve forgiven me… and-”:Eddy

“…Josh” :me shaking now more than ever before.

“What is it now Rialle?” :josh walking over.

“Erm… “ :me looking back down at Brendon. He nudge his head to the side to say ‘well go on then’. Brendon then walked off back into school.

“…hello?” :Josh trying to speed things on.

“I LOVE YOU!!” :me screaming.

“So you’ve said before Rialle” :Josh going to turn around and walk off.

“No… seriously Josh. I am so, so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like I did… we both didn’t want to hurt you” :me

“Well I don’t care, why should I believe you?! Give me one good reason” :Josh turning back around.

“Well… “:me lost for words.

Brendon came back with a wireless tape recorder. It was playing mine and Josh’s song; kiss this thing goodbye, by Del Amitri.

I gave out a small laugh, whilst beginning to cry.

“Josh please believe me when I say this…

Josh stood there staring at me. Even he had a slight tear in his eye. He looked at Brendon with the music player. The song had nearly finished.

“How could anyone refuse that?!” :Josh lifting me down. Everyone who had been listening cheered from behind us. I wrapped my arms around him smiling, like I’d never smiled before.

“I love you so much Josh! And I mean that” :me

“I think I noticed” :Josh putting me down and kissing me. I kissed him back it felt so right where I was. I knew I was ‘home’.

“EXCUSE ME!!” :Mrs Firth pushing her way through the crowd of people.

“Oh god…”: Brendon turning the music off and dragging Ryan off. Mrs Firth couldn’t stand them so they disappeared. Me and Josh stood there with our arms wrapped round each other.

“Break it up you two and come with me” :Mrs Firth pointing to both of us.

“o...k” :me dropping my arms from round josh’s waist. We followed her into the school building.

“We are having none of this inappropriate behaviour. Kissing and hugging on the school’s premises is forbidden and will not be accepted. Younger people are seeing you and copying what you are doing. They walk around holding hands and we’re having none of it. Now you … what’s your name?” :Mrs Firth pointing to Josh.

“Josh… miss” :Josh

“Right… You, Josh will wait out here. You missy come with me” :Mrs Firth pointing to me. She took me into her office.

“Right, take a seat” :Mrs Firth pointing to a chair :”Right first of all you broke a school rule by standing on the fountain. We take this rule very seriously and you my dear are no exception Then to start mouthing off at everyone, and then start kissing and hugging in front of everyone. Not everybody needs to see that first thing in a morning”

“Miss you wouldn’t under-” :me knowing I had no chance

“I don’t care why you were on the fountain, You had no reason to stand on the fountain and then to start acting inappropriately. You will receive your punishment during form. I will send a letter of what will be done considering your rule breaking. In the meantime I want you and Josh to stay away from each other for all of today. If I catch you anywhere near each other you will be in worse trouble. Now go and wait outside while I talk to Josh” :Mrs Firth walking towards the door.

I followed her out and sat down on a chair in the corridor.

“Right, you come in” :Mrs Firth looking at Josh :”And you wait here!”

Josh got up and followed Mrs Firth into her office. The door slammed after him.

[in the office]

“Right do you know why you’ve been called into my office?” :Mrs Firth sitting in her chair and leaning back. She honestly thought she ran the school and that she stood a high importance.

“Err no ma’am” :Josh shaking slightly.

“Well, it was because you and … “ :Mrs Firth

“…Rialle?” :Josh

“Yes… you and Rialle were displaying inappropriate behaviour in school. Now, me and other members of staff have clearly pointed out that no physical behaviour of that sort will be tolerated at St Mary’s High. I have never heard of your name before in any sort of trouble so I would prefer it if I never heard your name ever again in this sort of issues, now please leave. I will be sending a letter about the punishment you will both be receiving” :Mrs Firth going out of her office.

Josh followed and went out of the door. She asked us which forms we were in and then told us to go to form.

[back in the corridor]

“Miss… We weren’t in school when we kissing” :me just thinking about where we were.

“I beg your pardon?!” :Mrs Firth

“Oh… yea. Miss we weren’t in school we were just outside of it” :Josh joining in of proving the teacher wrong.

“I assure you, you were inside the school grounds or-” :Mrs Firth wanting us to shut up.

“Or you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it” :me smiling subtly.

“Look, miss we weren’t in school because I was waiting for Tom to get off his bus, which is outside of school” :Josh looking right back at her. Mrs Firth’s face dropped as she realised.

“Oh… well you’ve been warned. If I see any physical contact on these school grounds you will be dealt with, immediately. And believe me… I will know about it.” :Mrs Firth leaning slightly down, almost leaning over us.

“So does that mean we still have to stay away from each other?” :me

“…We’ve not done anything wrong, so there, you would be wrongly punishing us which my mum would love to hear about” :Josh smiling.

“I suppose not… “ :Mrs Firth biting her tongue. She pulled a disgusted look at both of us.

I was just about to turn around to go to form when I remembered something else.

“Oh… and what about the letters regarding our punishments?” :me turning around to face her again.

“ … “ :Mrs Firth standing there giving us the dirtiest look.. I smiled and turned around.

As I stood watching the class room, unsure if anything was actually going to happen, Eddy came down the stairs at the side. He had been listening to the conversation from upstairs. He stood behind me, placing his head on my shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me, allowing me to cry.

"I'm going to kill her..." :me sucking up my tears.

"Excuse me?" :Eddy moving his head away from my shoulder.

"You heard... Hayley will be no more when I've finished with her" :me walking off outside.

"Err...Rialle wait! She's not worth it. And you'll be in so much trouble-" :Eddy

"Like I care!! What else have I got to lose?" :me

"O.k Well you have got me there but you're only making things for yourself. If she knows what she's done has go to you then she's won" :Eddy

"Well what else am I supposed to do?" :me standing still and turning to face Eddy.

"Play her at her own game" :Eddy

"How can you be so nice to me? After what I said on msn-" :me looking directly at him.

"You didn't know what you were writing, you were stressed-" :Eddy actually believing what he was saying.

"But what if I did know what I was typing. If I hadn't have met you, I probably wouldn't be in this mess." :me.

"What...? You don't mean tha-" :Eddy looking hurt.

"Don't I? I loved Josh so much and yet I still went after what I didn't have - you. How could I have even done that to him. I wouldn't have cheated on Josh, and I would still be with him right now" :me trying to be hinest with myself.

"But I've helped you with so much, How could you say that? And what about Hayley, she's another problem which wouldn't have been stopped" :Eddy

"I would have been able to deal with her. Josh was so paranoid and so insecure when he knew we were talking, I wouldn't stop talking about you, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I wouldn't have been like that if I hadn't have met you" :me

"But we would have still met, when you go to Josh's i would have been there" :Eddy still hurt.

"Look I have to go. There's not much time left-" :me walking off.

I walked out of school and to Brendon's house. I knocked on the door, Ryan's mercedes was in the drive way so I knew someone must be at home.

"Oh, Hi Rialle... What are you going here?" :Ryan opening the door.

"Err I need to find Gerard or Ian, Dya know where they are?" :me walking in. Brendon was sat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. He was watching a drama programme on T.V.

"Nope, sorry. I think they're both doing some stuff with their bands. We've all been a bit distracted lately, no offense but our manager has been on our case this morning" :Ryan closing the door and following me into the living room.

"Dya know when they'll be back?" :Me sitting down. Ryan looked at me oddly.

"No and shouldn't you be at school?" :Ryan

"Nah. i walked out and the bell-" :me looking at my watch :"Has just gone."

"O.k then. So what's wrong then? You never just walk out of school" :Ryan sitting down next to Brendon. He tried to grab some popcorn from Brendon's bowl but Brendon moved it out of the way, his eyes still fixated on the T.V.

"Well, some stuff's been happening at school. Me and Josh are no more- hey, weren't you at school this morning as well?" :me looking at Ryan and Brendon oddly.

"Yea, we got called out by our manager saying that we had to work on some songs" :Ryan grabbing some popcorn from Brendon's hand and smiling slightly.

"No don't!! He's cheating on you!! No don't kiss him!! He is so ugly as well. So not your type Linda!!" :Brendon shouting at the TV. He got that wound up he threw a handful of popcorn at the screen.

"So anyway-": Ryan throwing a side glance at Brendon :"What's been happening at school?"

"Well Hayley has made a move on Josh and he accepted. I feel so stupid. I love him Ryan and I still cheated on him-" :me nearly in tears. I felt guilty because I had cheated on him and stupid because I trusted Hayley, she was supposed to be one of my best friends.

"What? you cheated on him? With who?" :Ryan looking surprised.

"With Eddy. I know I know with the most stupidest person I could have gone for. Believe me I already know and I feel so so so so so guilty for it. Please don't make me feel anymore guilty than what I feel right now" :me burying my head in my hands.

"Well I don't know what to say to you. You cheated on him with his best friend. How could you Rialle? That's low even for you and I'm surprised to be honest. I honestly didn't see that one coming" Ryan giving me a mild dirty look.

"Well he did cheat on me with my best friend-" :me looking up at him.

"That gives you no excuse and you did it first. Does he know about you and Eddy?" :Ryan

"I don't know. I think he does just not 100%. Hayley told him that me and Eddy had been sleeping together-" :me in a sort of casual tone.

"And did you?" :Ryan giving me an unsure look of what the answer was going to be.

"NO!! I've not slept with anyone!! And especially not Eddy" :me looking at him in a disgusted way.

"Hey don't you look at me like that missy! I was shocked that you had even been there in the first place. I don't know how far you went with the relationship." :Ryan.

"Hayley didn't even know me and Eddy were seeing each other anyway. And when she had told Josh that, it had been broken off and quite a while before" :me

"Broken off?" :Ryan

"I stopped it, between me and Eddy. I felt so guilty and I know it's Josh who i love" :me

"Well you should have thought about that before you went with his best friend. How can you not expect him to be angry about that?" :Brendon. He still had his eyes glued on the TV screen and was still eating popcorn.

"Why did Hayley choose Eddy? Why did she say him of all the people to say you had been sleeping with? If you get me?" :Ryan looking confused of what he was saying himself.

"Because we have been getting closer. Most of the time I've been at James' I've been with Eddy too" :Me.

"But you've been with Andrew as well, Why not him?" :Ryan

"Because I don't talk to him as much as Eddy. Me and Eddy have been talking a hell of a lot on msn and stuff. My conversation history with Eddy is already full. The only reason I don' talk to James as much is because he never comes online anymore" :me

"Well Andrew is out of the question then.” :Ryan

“Look do you really want to show him how much you care and how much you’re sorry?” :Brendon finally taking his eyes off the screen.

“Yea more than anything, I love him” :me.

“Well you need to sort out your feelings for Eddy. Remember he loves you too” :Ryan.

“I know, I have no idea what I’ll tell Eddy” :me

“Well what are you planning to do to show Josh it’s him you love?” :Brendon

“Err I don’t know buy him something?” :me
“NO No no!!” :Brendon giving the popcorn to Ryan and sitting up. He turned to face me.

“Well what then?" :me looking rather scared.