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Chapter 34

I rolled up my sleave. [cant spell...] I looked deep at my arm. 'Should I do this?' I needed someway to escape everything. I looked back constantly at my arm and then the tile. The sharp edge glistened with the light in the room. I closed my eyes and counted to ten...

1, 2, 3, 4...

I took a deep breath...

5, 6, 7,

I pushed the edge into my arm gently at first.

8, 9,

The tile went deeper as I applied more pressure...

10

The tile cut into my wrist. Blood spat out. I had never seen blood pour out so much and so quickly. I tried hard not to scream so no one would bother me. I released the pressure and lifted the tile away from my arm. I watched the blood pour down my arm. I looked away and slashed at my wrist again. Blood spat on my top. I released the tile again, and again hit at my arm.

Blood continued to pour out of my arm. I sat there and watched my arm. The pain was too much to take in. So I screamed...

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Robyn's p.o.v

We all heard a scream coming from the room which Rialle was in. We all ran to see what was going on. Eddy opened the door.

"OMG!" :Me as I rushed in.

Rialle was passed out on the stool. Blood was everywhere and continued to flow, pouring down her arm.

"Someone call an ambulance for god sake!!" :me turning around and screaming. Ryan hobbled to the door as fast as he could.

"Oh my-" :Ryan putting a hand to his mouth gasping.

"This is all your fault you know!" :Chloe turning to Eddy.

"Brendons phoning the hospital now" :Ryan daring of he should go in.

"Spencer, go get a towel or something" :me

"Eddy, try and get hold of Josh" :Jon

"o.k" :eddy walking outside.

"Shouldn't someone tell Hayley aswell?":Chloe

"you ring her then?" :me keeping a close eye on Rialle.

The tile was still in Rialle's hand. Rialle made a  slight moan and tried to move her head.

"Rialle, try and not move or talk o.k" :Me reassuring her.

"R...r...rob..." :Rialle tryng to speak again.

"Stop trying to speak!" :me almost screaming. :"Rialle you silly girl, what have you done to yourself?"

"W...w...what?" :Rialle

"I said don't speak woman! What do you not understand?!" :Me.

Rialle's p.o.v

One minute I was in the room with a tile. Robyn was screaming at me not to speak and she kept asking me questions. The next thing i knew, i opened my eyes and I was somewhere new... it smelt like a hospital.

"Where am I?" :me trying to sit up. Robyn and Josh were at my side. I looked down at my arm. It was covered in bandages and blood was showing slightly where it had soaked through.

"Rialle!! Thankgod you're alright. Eddy got on the phone to me straight away" :Josh standing and kissing me on the forehead.

"Eddy..." :me trying to think of what had happned before I was in the room.

"Yep, I was in pure shock when I got the call." :Josh

"I'll go and get the nurse..." :Robyn getting up.

"Nah, just pull this..." :me pulling an alarm bell that was only supposed to be for emergencies.

"Yep, that'll do it" :josh giggling to himself.

I felt around my neck. I always wear the necklace which Josh had given to me on valentine's day. It was a heart, an aquamarine colour. [my birthstone] I noticed it was missing. I pulled a confused face as i was thinking where it was.

"What's the matter with your neck?" :Josh

"My necklace... the one you give to me... where is it? I always wear it, where's it gone?!" :Me stressing and rubbing all around my neck.

"Oh it's here, they had to take it off." :Josh pulling open a draw next to the bed.

"Can you put it on for me please?" :Me pulling my hair to one side and facing my back to him.

"... thanks" :Me facing him again.

A nurse rushed in as the alarm was still going off.

"Oh I see you're awake..." :the nurse.

"..." :Me giving her a blank stare. This woman was clever... O.o

"Well, now you're awake we're going to need to take some blood tests and an xrayt of your arm. Another doctor will stop by and check on your arm. We need to know how much damage you've done altogether." :Nurse

"What kind of tests?" :Me

"Blood tests..." :nurse

"You can just go back to the room if you want any blood..." :Robyn chuckling to herself. The nurse side glanced at her as if to say 'have you finished yet' sort of stare. Robyn had noticed and turned around, wiping the smile off her face.

"Oh great, a trip to the vampires" :Me rolling my eyes.

"Vampires?" :Josh sounding confused.

"Yep, they take blood off you, and no one really knows what they do with the blood afterwards..." :Me looking at him. The nurse finished writing something on her clipboard and put it on the end of my bed. Two minutes later she walked out.

Chapter 33

Chapter 32

"What...?!" :Me gobsmacked. At that moment it felt like I had literally been punched in the face.

"Are you sure Liam?" :Josh turning around with doubt in what Liam had said but doubt in what he had just been told by me.

"Yep, I saw everything...":Liam looking smug with himself. Robyn had heard what Liam had been saying and decided to step in. She stormed over and pushed Liam in the shoulder.

"You didn't see anything, you liar!!" :Robyn.

"Yes I did and this has got nothing to do with you!":Liam rubbing his shoulder.

"Who said it had anything to do with you? and you were on the other side of the room. Josh believe me when I say this, I honestly don't know who kissed who but I do know it was Eddy who dragged rialle into that room because he made me call her over." :Robyn facing Josh

"Yea that's right cuz he was hiding behind that plant pot" :Me trying harder than ever to defend myself.

"Yea i saw that Josh, I thought it was a bit odd..." :Ryan.

"Really...?" :josh sort of believeing Ryan and Robyn and trying to imagine Eddy behind a plant pot.

"Look Josh I wouldn't have asked you back out if I didn't honestly like you, and I wouldn't blow our relationship on Eddy of all people, considering he's like your best mate and especially not after all you've done for me" :Me almost crying in fear of losing him.

"After all what? he's not done anything for you?!" :Eddy still hoping he stood a chance with me.

"Err, this party for one if you hadn't noticed." :Chloe stepping in. Everything had gone practically quiet, including spencer and Jon in the far corner. There was a random knock at the door.

"Well I'm going home now...":Josh turning to face the door, :"see you later Rialle"

"Josh please wait!! I... I... love you..." :Rialle chasing him as he ran out of the door.

hehe i made this short on purpose to wind you all up cuz am cruel =D anyway I'll post another one when I can... be bothered =D

enjoy all the same =P

Hey, this journal is for Chloe, cuz shes the one who helped me with this journal and she's the reason this one if out so early!!

so please everyone enjoy!!=D

chapter 31

Eddy leaned in and kissed me.

"Eddy... What the hell?" :Me pushing him away. The room was that small anyway it didn't make much of a difference. He looked at me biting his lip and seemed to be happy with himself of what he did. I ran outside banging the door on the wall as it opened. Everyone looked at me and then inside the room. Robyn kinda guessed what happened and came after me. Eddy peeped around the wall. Josh hadn't noticed because he was concentratin on what was going on with me.

"Robyn, what's going on?" :Josh pausing robyn as she chased after me.

"Look, just give her a minute..." :Robyn running off.

Eddy came out of the room. Everyone was now looking at him even more confused. Josh saw what everyone was looking at. He pushed past everyone storming up to Eddy.

"err, Eddy what was all that about?" :Josh

"What was what?" :Eddy

"Eddy, why were you and Rialle in that room together on your own?" :Josh

"err, we weren't..." :Eddy trying to push past Josh who stood in the way.

"What's that on ur lips?" :Josh staring at Eddy's mouth.

"nothing... why" :eddy biting his lip to see what was on it. Lipgloss has transferred on to Eddy's lips. : "Rialle's lipgloss..." Eddy muttered half forgetting Josh was there,

"What did you just say?!" :josh

"err nothing!!" :Eddy panicking. Josh walked forward cornering eddy.

"Why the hell is Rialle's lipgloss on your lips" :josh almost shouting. Everything went quiet, everyone had heard and was now staring at Josh and Eddy.

"It's not... I swear josh I would never do anything like that!" :eddy scared.

"Well then explain why you and Rialle were in there on your own and why her lipgloss is on you!" :Josh

"err... she forced herself onto me!" :Eddy lying through his teeth.

"WHAT!!?" :Josh

"I mean it Josh, I tried to stop her but she's pretty powerful and when I turned her down she ran off." :Eddy

"you know... that would make sense..." :Josh

"Would it..." :Eddy confused.

"Well it would do, but what she's going through at the moment I can't quite see her doing something like that." :josh :"Can you?... eddy?"

"Look it's not my fault she doesn't love you" :eddy

"EXCUSE ME!! you know how I can tell that it weren't here?" :Josh

"Go on, amaze me" :Eddy

"You are always touching her, poking her, tripping her up, and you were the one who asked her to dance with you when you first got here." :Josh stretching his fingers. He clenched them into a fist and swung at eddy. Eddy had seen it coming and ducked. Josh hit the wall instead.

Eddy crawled underneath Josh's arms. He stood on the couch and shouted so everyone in the room could hear.

"Rialle loves me! she's never loved you!" :eddy

"Oh well if that was true why was she the one who asked me out!?!" :josh losing his temper even more.

"Well she didn't know me then" :Eddy :"But now evrything is different, she knows me and loves me and the lipgloss is proof."

"The lipgloss is nothing!" :Josh

"Did you not see her coming out of the room which i was in as well." :eddy :"I guess you'll never know what went on in there"

"Oh i will do you can be sure of that!!" :Josh

"well we'll see who she choses when she comes out" :Eddy jumping down from the couch. Josh ran up to Eddy and hit him in the face. Blood spouted out from eddy's mouth.

"That'll clear the lipgloss!" :Josh

Chloe ran off to try and find Rialle and Robyn. She went upstairs and found them in ryan's room.

"Hey look, you're going to have to get downstairs quickly, Josh and Eddy have gone mad!!" :Chloe trying to get it out as fast as she could.

"What's going on?" :Robyn asked while I ran down the stairs.

"Eddy, and Josh are having a fight." :chloe

"Oh god":Robyn running after Rialle.

"Break it up you two!":Brendon who was stood in the middle.

"No chance, he's after my girl!" :Josh swinging his arm.

"If she loved you Josh, when did she kiss me?" :eddy

"I didn't kiss you!" :Me shouting. I walked over to Eddy and Josh. :"Josh what's going on?"

"Did you kiss Eddy?" :Josh breathing deeply.

"No! he came onto me, he pushed me into that room." :Me

"No I didn't, you came onto me!!" :Eddy

"Excuse me?! I would nevr do anything like that! the only reason I danced with you was so Josh didn't think anything of it if I said no."

"You said you loved me and that was why you finished Josh the first time" :eddy. That was the last straw for me, I walked up to Eddy and slapped him.

"How dare you say that? I hadn't even seen you the first I finished Josh so that's bullsh**!" :Me

"Ha, now try and say she kissed you eddy," :josh feeling quite relieved that he had been right.

"Josh, please believe me that I would never do anything like that to you, especially after all this that you did for me" :Me running over and hugging him.

"I would never believe that, but why did you want me to call them to see if they could come anyway?" :Josh

"Because I thought they were our friends and I need as many friends as the moment as possible for support, I never expected this!" :Me

"well, you can say that again, I don;t think anyone expected this." :Josh kissing me. i had tears running down my face, I was so lucky Josh believed me. Liam went up to Eddy and helped him up.

"I saw everything and it was Rialle who kissed eddy..." :Liam

Chapter 30

"Josh will you slow it down a bit please... I can hardly keep up!" :Me practically running at his side. Josh stopped still, spun me around so i was facing him. He had me in my arms and kissed almost as if to shut me up.

"o...k?" :Me shocked. Josh smiled but still didn't say anything and started walking again just as fast.

After 10 minutes of power walking I noticed we were near Ryan's house. I stood still looking at the house and pulled on Josh's arms.

"Josh what are you doing... please don't say we're going anywhere near there?" :Me refusing to move.

"Look... me and Ryan are coold now... and yes we are going in there" :Josh now facing me.

"...I don't wanna go in there cuz I know everytime I do, theres trouble." :Me

"Look... we need to go in there" :Josh

"No we don't!!..." :me being shut up again by Josh by him kissing me.

"Look why don't you trust me?" :Josh.

"I do trust you and you know I damn well do but..." :Me being kissed yet again to shut me up.

"O.k. . . I'll do you a deal" :Me thinking :"One more kiss and I'll go in there with you" Josh kissed me one more time and then pulled on hand to pull me in the house.

"SURPRISE!!" :Everyone who was in the room.

I jumped back nearly having a heart attack. I had a huge grin on my face looking at all my friends there. Things between us hadn't really be all that good. I turned around to Josh.

"Was this all you?" :Me hugging him.

"No... it was my idea but Ryan helped me alot." :Josh smiling and pointing at Ryan. I ran over to Ryan and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thankyou so much Ryan... it really means alot to me." :Me with the biggest smile my lips could handle. =D

I walked over to my friends. I looked at them all and burst into tears of joy.

"I am so sorry you guys!!" :Me going into a group hug. everyone put their arms round each. Brendon ran in and jumped on us all taking the mick. The group split up and Brendon smiled. I smiled at him giving Brendon a hug so he didn't feel that left out.

"come on people don't just stand around!!" :Spencer going over to the huge stereo in the corner. He put Gwen stefani 'what u waiting for?' on.

"come on... get it louder than that" :Jon

"No you don't wanna damage their ears." :spencer shouting back.

"But it's a party get with it you old granny!" :Jon

They carried on bickering for ages about the volume, it was so funny to watch. Robyn started dancing with Chloe until Ryan offered Robyn his hand.

"Hell yea...!! see ya Chloe... am off" :Robyn who couldn't walk off quicker to dance with him.

Chloe laughed and was soon accompanied by Brendon. Brendon took the p**s while he was dancing. Chloe couldn't stop laughing.

"Ow... my cheeks hurt... stop it Brendon you spoon!" :Chloe trying to control her laughter.

Hayley and I were dancing as well. I saw Josh who looked kinda lonely so I went over there to company him.  I put my arms around him and walked over to the dance area. we started dancing but Josh can't dance which made it hilarious.

"Josh... please stop doing that..." :Me shaking my head but laughing at him at the same time.

"What... this is how I dance!" :Josh taking the mick and starting to really take the p**s out of himself.

"Where's everyone else?" :Me looing around noticing people were missing.

"Like who...?" :Josh

"Eddy, Andrew, Leanne, Liam..." :Me

"Oh... I didn't think you would want them here. They're not really your friends..." :Josh

"EXCUSE ME?!" :Me trying hard not to laugh, :"Not my friends? who did I see the most over the school holidays?"

"o..k you have a good point there..." :Josh

"Hell yea I do! Why don't you go phone them and ask if they can come?" :Me walking off to talk to Hayley.

"Hey whats up?" :Me

"Oh nout much... They're still bickering..." :Hayley pointing over towards Jon and Spencer.

"Omg... over what... the volume still?" :Me

"Yep" :Hayley

"Hayley... I know you said you're fine but are you sure because you seem a little tense around me." :Me

"Yea i'm sure" :hayley

"Look I'm sorry bout the way I shouted at you down the phone. I was just angry" :Me

"it's ok." :hayley

"But why does it bother you so much not having a boyfriend? it's never bothered you before so much?" :me

"I don't know I just seem lonely at the moment" :hayley

"Well can you get over it and then we can start being proper friends again please...?" :me

"...err":Hayley. I heard a knock at the window. I looked over and saw Eddy asking for someone to let him in. Josh went over and started winding him up by banging on the window which eddy's face was pressed up against. Ryan hobbled along behind Josh and shouted to go to the door.

"Aww couldn;t we have just let them freeze outside?" :Josh laughing with Ryan

"Kinda harsh don't ya think?" :Ryan

"Err do I have to answer that one...?" :Josh following Ryan to the door to let them in.

 Eddy, Andy, Leanne and Liam came through the door. I went up to them to give them all a hug.

"Hey you guys! come meet Leanne, Eddy and Liam!" :Me shouting to Robyn, Hayley, [etc].

"Right, This is Eddy, Leanne, and Liam" :Me all pointing to each of them.

"And this is Robyn, Chloe, Hayley, tom, Becky, Ryan, Brendon, Spencer and Jon are over in the corner arguing over the volume." :Josh

"right now if everyone's done introducing each other can we get back to our dancing please?" :Robyn hinting that she hadn't finished dancing with Ryan.

"yea sure Robster" :Me. Robyn and ryan hobbled over to the dance area.

"Hey do you want to dance?" :Eddy : "I mean if that's o.k with you Josh?"

"Err, yea sure go ahead." :Josh with a hint of uncomfortableness in his tone.

Eddy offered me his hand. I took it because I didn't want to cause any trouble between Eddy and Josh and I knew Eddy did like me. We started to dance and I noticed he kept trying to get closer to me.

"Look Eddy you're a really nice guy, but I'm going out with Josh and there's nothing that can change that." :Me

"What..." :eddy trying to sound innocent.

"Eddy... i'm not stupid. all that stuff in Wigan when you tapped me on the shoulder to make me look at you and then shouting 'look, she's looking at me, stop it!!' you honestly think I didn't notice?" :Me

"I didn't do that!" :Eddy trying to deny it as best he could.

"o.m.g. you so did eddy" :Me sopping dancing. : "What do you think I am... completely blind?"

Eddy had stopped dancing. He didn't know what to say either.

"but..." :eddy thinking of things that would help him get out of the conversation.

"Hey Eddy come over here a minute" :Liam from across the room.

"thankyou!" :eddy muttering under his breath as he walked off. i went back over to Josh pushing past andrew and Leanne dancing.

"Hey what's up?" :Me

"Nothing... what was all that between you and Eddy?" :Josh

"err... nothing, what do you mean?" :Me sounding strangely nervous.

"well you were dancing, started talking and then stood still for no reason." :Josh noticing something was going on.

"Look, there's nothing going on at all" :me

"Hey, Robyn... come over here a minute" :Eddy to Robyn

"What is it now eddy? Couldn't you see I was busy?" :Robyn putting her hands on her hips. She was annoyed because she was with Ryan.

"I need a favour." :eddy

"What is it now?" :robyn breathing heavy.

"Ask rialle to come over here but make sure I'm gone first." :eddy

"where is the logic in that?" :Robyn

"No... I'll conveniently come back after she's here but she won't come over here if she knows I'm here." :eddy. Robyn glared at him.

"Come on robyn please... just this onc, I've never asked for anything else." :eddy

"I don't even know you and this is like the 2nd time i've seen you..." :Robyn

"Robyn, please?" :eddy

"alright, alright. well you're going to have to hide somewhere if you want her to come over." :Robyn. Eddy hid behind one of the big plant pots in a corner near where they were standing.

"Hey Rialle... come over here a minute" :Robyn. Rialle came over.

"What is it Robyn?" :Me

"Err... I need  to ask you something but I forgot what I was going to ask you..":Robyn

"Well can you call me back when you've remembered?" :me

"No! it'll come to me..." :Robyn : "Hey eddy..."

"Err eddy why were you behind that plant pot?" :me looking at him strangely. I noticed something was up because Robyn was trying to tell eddy something.

"What do you want eddy?" :Me.

"Come in here.." :eddy pulling me in a room, first looking outside the room to make sure no one had noticed. The room was fairly small so we were close together.

"Eddy what do you want?" :Me feeling very uncomfortable.

"Look, we need to talk" :eddy

"well i don't and I really don't need to be this close to you either" :Me pulling a face.

"Look, why do you have to be with him!?":eddy

"Because I like him and he must like me because this party was all him." :me

"I know more about you than he does" :eddy

"I don't think so eddy..." :me

"we were looking for a present for you, he thought of clothes and didn't know what dress size you were!" :eddy

"Do you even know what size I'm in..?" :Me

"err, yes i do actually... 14-15 yrs" :eddy feeling quite proud of himself.

"o...k now you're beginning to freak me out." :me

"Look I really like you Rialle..." :Eddy

"Look i'm with Josh and it would be way too wierd if I started going out with you, which is not going to happen anyway!" :me

"Not even if I did this..." :eddy

Chapter 29

Most of the party had been finished. josh felt slightly awkward because it was Ryan who had organised everything. Josh went over and waited at the side as Brendon and Ryan finished their conversation.

"Err hi?" Ryan confused slightly.

"Erm... hey..." :Josh still unsure himself of why he was stood there.

"Look i'm sorry Ryan..." :Josh

"For what?" :Ryan now even more confuzzled.

"Well... for everything really... Like with Rialle and stuff I've done" :Josh

"Hey it's weren't your fault who she chose." :Ryan

"So we're good then?" :Josh

"...Yea... we're good" :Ryan forcing half a smile.

[Rialle's p.o.v]

I lied on my bed face up staring non-stop at the ceiling. I didn't know what to do about anything anymore. Last year was a complete disaster and now it seemed the new year was a follow up. I didn't want to speak to Josh again, I had already put too much on him as it is. My friends probably hated me for storming off and I haven't even spoke to them for a while. I thought it would be best to phone Hayley if anyone because we've been friends the longest.

'Heyy Hayley... what's up?" :Me

"...hey..." :Hayley trying to keep the conversation short.

"Look I'm sorry for storming off like I did but you were out of order..." :Me

"ME?! out of order... HOW?!" :Hayley

"Yes YOU! How dare you tell me I can't bring my boyfriend with us when Becky and Tom are rpobably coming as well!":Me

"Well that's not the point... you've been rubbing it in Rialle so bad and you know you have..." :Hayley

"How have I? I talk about him that's it... I proved I could go places without him because he weren;t even there at the time!":Me

"Well... you're always talking about him these days, it's like you do it on purpose." :Hayley

"Hayley that's bullshit and you know it! and besides he's my boyfriend I have the right to talk about him" :Me

"But you're always doing it..." :Hayley

"No I'm not!... oh well if talking about him is rubbing it in then you can't talk about your family then if that's the way you're being..." :Me

"Huh...? What's my family got to do with anything?" :Hayley

"Don't play the 'I don't know card' Hayley... you know i've always been a bit jealous of you because you have like the perfect family and the only family I have is my boyfriend, my [so-called] friends and my mum. Hardly what people call a family is it?" :Me

"But that's not my fault..." :Hayley

"Well it isn;t my fault you don't have a boyfriend... When you went out with Hampson I never said a word and I hadn't even had one boyfriend then, I was a friend and was happy for you like you should be for me" :me proud of myself of proving my point.

"Well if you want it that way... we just won't speak to each other" :Hayley

"No Hayley that's not what I meant and you know it but this time it's not going to be all about you! You don;t have a boyfriend... that isn't my fault, I don't have a close family... that isn't your fault but theres no need to be bitchy about it." :Me slamming the phone down.

[That'll give her something to think about]

Two minutes later there was a knock at the door. I went to the top of the stairs and looked over. It was... Sue my counsellor but it was strange because she never does home visits. I waited until mum looked up the stairs and called me down. I slowly walked down; confused.

"...err hi Sue?" :Me in a tone almost asking her why she was here.

"oh Hi Libbie." :Sue

"Erm, What's all this?" :Me

"Your mum asked me round for a session." :Sue

"But we only do counselling at school." :Me

"Look your mum is worried about how you're dealing with things..." :Sue

"I'm coping fine thanks... Look mum, Sue I'm sorry but I've made plans to go out." Me

"Err... no Sue didn't come all this way for you to go out." Mum pointing to the living room door.

"Look! I didn't know about this and I am sick of you planning things for me behind my back and opening my mail. If I hadn;t have gone to that stupid hospital appointment I would have been fine! Now stop babyin me and LEAVE ME ALONE!" :Me grabbing my coat from the banister and walking out. I had no idea where to go, I hadn't made plans to go out and Josh was probably out and my friends weren't exactly in the best of moods with me.

I went to a park near Josh's hoping he would be there. Instead Liam, Eddy, Andrew and Leanne were there. I walked over and said hi.

"Heyy..." :Eddy, Liam.

"err... Hi, yea we're going over here" :Andrew and Leanne walking off.

"I do not wanna know where they're off to." :Liam

"Aww don't get too excited Eddy I don't think they're into 3 sums!" :Me burstin out laughing. I heard some laughing behind me. I turned around and josh was there.

"JOSH!" :Me flinging my arms around him. I knew it woldnt have been good to start crying but I was so happy that he was there.

"Rialle...? what are you doing here?" Josh

"I was just seeing who was here..." :Me looking everywhere but in his eyes as I pulled away. He can always tell if I'm lying.

"Hmm..." :Josh

"Oh, Hi Josh." :Eddy and Liam drawing odd pictures in the sand. Eddy was drawing a pacman along side Liam's cow with a broken leg saying 'baa'. [<- dnt ask but Liam did draw that in real life]

"Hey... where's Andrew and Leanne?" :Josh

"Oh they walked off somewhere..." :Eddy admiring his pacman.

"ew..." :Me burying my head in Josh's coat.

"O...k? God they move fast..." :Josh pulling a disgusted face.

"Hey look I've gotta go now... see ya later everyone' :Liam running off to his house.

"Should we even attempt to find them...?" Eddy

"Do we want to attempt to find them?" :Me looking slightly disturbed at him.

"err probably not." :Josh.

"Well what should we do cuz it's getting boring just standing here?" :Eddy

"Anything but find them..." :Me

"Yea come on lets go for a trek." :Josh taking my hand and following Eddy.

After 5 minutes of trekking around the park we found a bench. Eddy had a tennis ball so Josh and Him were catching it to each other. An old couple walked past and asked to sit down so we were on the move again. We walked round a big area of trees and found some monkey bars on the other side.

"MONKEY BARS!!" :Eddy starting to run over. Me and Josh followed. Eddy and Josh had a go at the monkey bars but I had no chance... bad memories in p.e... =S

Andrew and Leanne came out from nowhere. He was on his phone and passed it to Josh.

"Here it's for you..." :Andrew

"kk... hi? ......" :Josh passing the phone back.

"Who was it?" :Me being nosy =D

"We've got to go somewhere so I'll see you later... and it's kinda urgent so we need to move it and pretty fast..." :Josh grabbing my hand and practically running...

Chapter 28

"But he was fine a few days ago... yesterday even!" :Me not believing this.

"I know. aunty susan found him on the floor this morning when she came home from work" :Mum blowing her nose.

"Who's told you?" :Me thinking of things to say.

"Grandma has just phoned me." :Mum

"Oh..." :Me my mind was still in shock from this morning so didn;t even know what to think. We didn't have a close family so it made no difference to me.

I went up stairs to my room. I got a text from Josh:

'Was it really bad news? love you, Josh'

Huh? Why has he started a new obsession of telling me he loves me? He's never said that to me before. I'm just gona ignore it till he says it to my face. I sent him a text saying what had happened. I didn't know what to do... I just lied on my bed facing my ceiling.

"Hey Chloe what ya doing?" :Josh

"Nothin with you if thats what you're asking." :Chloe dirty looking him and walking off.

"Don't be like that. I thought we were friends" :Josh following. Robyn came in from the yard and ran up to Chloe.

"Hey Chloe... Oh god, what do you want?" :Robyn looking at Josh

"I'm only trying to be nice!!" :Josh

"Well thats a first for me..." :Chloe looking surprised.

"...And me!" :Robyn.

"Look will you listen to me or not?!" :Josh throwing a paddy.

"Err... no" :Chloe turning around again walking into her media class.

"You can't blame us, with the way you've been with Rialle and us. The party thing was out of order. I'm surprised she's still with you." :Robyn walking off to her history class.

"Great... well you lot are helpful." :Josh.

"What's up?" Becky coming from behind him.

"Nothing... it's just Rialle is having a bad time at the moment and I want to throw like a surprise party for her and I need some help but everyone is ignoring me... well apart from you anyway." :josh.

"Well you can't blame anyone. You haven;t exactly been nice to us." :Becky walking off like the others did.

After school Josh went shopping with Andrew and Eddy to buy Rialle something.

"Do you even know what she likes?" :Andrew

"Not a clue but it has to be something special" :Josh

"What about teddies?"Andrew

"No she's got enough of them..." :Eddy

"How would you know?" :Josh looking slightly confuzzled but taking no notice.

"She was saying on msn..." :Eddy

"What about clothes?" Josh

"Ah... but do you know what size she is?" :Andrew

"13-14 yrs... she doesn't fit into a size 8... too big" :Eddy

"How the... hell do you know that?!" :Josh

"Yea Eddy you're freaking us out... you know more about rialle than Josh does!" :Amdrew

"I'm sure I don't" :Eddy slightly worried.

"I know... a necklace!" :Josh running into a jeweller's.

"Err yea why not?" :eddy and andrew following.

After they bought the necklace, Andrew and Eddy had to go home. On josh's way home Ryan and Brendon walked past, realising who Josh was. Josh ran over to Ryan.

"Look we don;t want any trouble o.k?" :Brendon

"Neither do I... I've partly come over to apologise and sorta for a favour..." :Josh

"No chance!! You ruined our party, stole rialle from me... I won't let you do anything else" :Ryan trying to get away but Josh stepped infront.

"Look it ain't for me... it's for Rialle. And I am truly sorry for everything I did... I don;t know why I did that" :Josh bowing his head almost in shame.

"What did you want to ask?" :Brendon

"Rialle isn't doing so well..." :Josh interrupted by Ryan.

"What!!... why whats the matter?" :Ryan panicking.

"She's having to deal with alot and I would like it if we did like a surprise party for her to take her mind off things." :Josh

"Look... we would love to but we can't. Ryan needs alot of care..." :Brendon also being interrupted.

"Err... yes we can if it's for Rialle. She needs us!" :Ryan dirty looking Brendon.

"Yea but we have tours still to do and youre supposed to be writing our next album so we're kinda busy" :Brendon

"Look... I'll write some songs, maybe after the party." :Ryan

"That would be so great. But I wold prefer it if you didn;t tell her about this... right now I don't think she old agree to it" :Josh

"Right-o. Anyway we gotsta go, fridge aint gona re-stock itself!" :Brendon

"Oh by the way... Thanks I know it would mean alot to her..." :Josh going home.

chapter 27

"Mum I don't really care right now!" :me screaming downstairs.

"Well you're going to have to face it sometime!... Now what do you want for tea?" :Mum

"Yea I know mum but not right now ok?" :Me

I signed in on msn but quickly changed my status to 'offline'. I couldn't be bothered with randomers or ym friends right now. I saw Josh wa on so I decided to talk to him.

"hey bbz" :Me

"Hey" :Josh

"Hows you?"

"Not bad u?"

"Look... I know we haven't been to good recently but i really need to see you now!"

"Why... wats up Rialle?"

"Look please... in half an hour meet me under the old oak tree near school"

"O...k Are you sure everything is o.k?"

"Look everything will be when I see you... just pleas meet me there in half an hour"

"Ok Look I gotta go for my tea"

"Yea same ea... so i'll see you in a bit"

"Bye love you! (k)(k)" [Josh has signed off]

I sat at the table eating mum's homemade shepherds pie. I started to push the food around my plate so it looked like I had eaten more than I had. I looked at the clock, [18:25] I had 10 minutes left till I met Josh.

"What's up Rialle? You've hardly touched your food." :Mum talking a mouthful

"Just not hungry" :Rialle

"It won't be as bad as it looks you know... they will fix it and we'll cope" :Mum trying to make everything seem normal again.

"We've got no choice but to cope!!" :Rialle

"Well yea there is that.." :Mum

"Right now I'm not hungry and I'm going out" :Me storming off, grabbing my coat on the way out. I just used that as an excuse to go out.